Curse conformity.

There is this boy in my school I have loved for so long for 4 years since I came to my school. He is the sweetest and most adorable thing god has created. He also knew I was the moment I looked at him the way I did. Yet he remains friendly and respects the fact that I am gay.
He gave me some impressions that he was gay before, but I can no longer sense that now that he has had many girlfriends. I mourn that people who have been in a relationship with him confuses love with lust. This happens too much in my world...I live in a society where individuals hook up without knowing each other well enough to ensure that they will stay together at least a few months.
Deep inside I know that he has a pure heart, who's only intention is to commit good deeds. Yet the effect of conformity has had too much impact on him. He is relentless of the friends he makes as long as they are popular, he follows the procrastinators and the quality of his work falls like a bomb, he makes fun of others now, to gain what he thinks will make others think he is cool and "one of them."
One of the individuals being scoffed at is...Me. I've heard from many telling that he has made fun of my sexuality and showed others the records of chats of me talking to him about...well, Me. I rue being myself now, if only I could be normal and avoid the gravity of lust that emerges from him. His smooth, sexy legs and bottom...slightly muscular abs and arms...with that handsome and most adorable face he possesses. His personable nature and encompassing intellect in every area, he is the perfect manifestation of a perfect human being.
A few years ago he used to touch me in places and I exchanged those touches. He also has promised that he would engage in sexual interactions with me when the time is right. All that seems very distant now. I feel like punching him until he begs for my mercy for making me feel so lost...for taunting me and looking at me in disgust when I really am not looking at him at all.
I believe that the human nature is pure, just that too many evil influences are in are society, corrupting the minds of the pure and innocent. Even he admits if he has transferred his soul into another body, he would no longer receive the attention he has now.
At this instant my sexual pheromones longs for his companionship and affection, but I know it will never happen now. I also know of other supposedly gay people in which I've have interactions with, but they are still unsure. I am only in 8th grade, haha. And I want to commit suicide for God has made a mistake whilst my existence in this world.

But I am afraid, I fear the pain and darkness and still want to live. Please tell me what to do.