Hi, I guess I just need a couple of outsider opinions on this situation and I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I am gay but only a few close friends know and I am not yet open about it (hopefully soon). Anyhow, there is a girl in my program at school... Ever since the beginning of the year we had a weird connection. I've had quite a few girl crushes before but nothing like this one. The weird part about it is that I think she noticed me before I noticed her, and usually it is the other way around. It started out that I would catch her staring and then after a while she would hold my gaze for a few seconds which doesn't generally happen with other people. After some time of this going on I ended up in a line right behind her and started conversation. She was noticeably nervous talking to me. I realize that some people are just nervous in general, but in class she seemed relatively comfortable and confident, so this was another red flag. She was kind of stumbling on her words and couldn't look at me for too long, I think I caught her off guard by actually talking to her. It was at that time that I finally thought to myself... maybe this girl is into me? I don't want to sound conceited in anyway but I am fairly out-going and I've been described as funny and charming so it's not completely out of the norm to have more than one person trying to get into my pants at one time (unfortunately they are ALWAYS men..well that I know of ). So, initially I thought maybe she was just intimidated by me and wanted to just be my friend or something. Since then it has been almost 5 months and her and I have become better friends. We still look at each other a lot and every time I hold her gaze my heart feels like it stops beating and I definitely get butterflies, and I'm talking frequent eye contact here folks. It's safe to say I have a serious crush on this girl. I'd rather not though, to be honest.. because it's killing me trying to figure out if she is actually into me. In my heart I feel that she is, but I honestly think this could all be in my head too. I know that her family is quite Christian... but something just feels THERE I guess. At one point I tried to move on from the whole situation, but I feel like the more I withdrew, the more aggressive she got...started sitting by me and trying to be near me more. So.. do I move on or do I pursue this? I'm scared of taking a risk, but we are only going to be more close from here on out because, ironically, I was placed in the same group as her for practicum. The only thing that gives me hope is the fact that I was gay for a long time before I actually was able to realize it and accept it, and I know for a fact that there are other people in that exact same position I was.. and religion had a lot to do with it. Thank you.
Personally, if I thought she liked me as well, I'd take the risk. You only live once. Also, isn't it better to know, rather than always be wondering. You'll never be able to move on unless you find out. And what if she's really into you? You could be missing out on something wonderful.
One thing I am learning lately is that sometimes you HAVE to take risks, and life is way to short to move on from something like that. I'm not exactly saying make a move on her or anything, but just become a better friend, get to know her more, who knows what she's thinking.
I would definitely get to know her better...there may be something there....just know she may be in the closet even to herself, and not know her real feelings...good luck!
I think it boils down to what can you live with? A) the regret of not doing something OR B) possible rejection or a little uncomfortable-ness if she's not interested Me personally, I can't live with wondering what if, it eats away at me, so I'd at the very least let it be known that I was into her. Preferably in a funny, light-hearted way to avoid weirdness.
