To start off, this guy is a 'good in the romantic sense' friend to me and basically I'm wondering whether it is for him too. Well, at school he often leans himself against me and pushes me against the fence in a fairly suggestive way. He is currently having troubles with his girlfriend and I have tried desperately to help him and he has said that I have been better to him than her (though, I tell myelf not to count this as it is probably just an emotional daze.) But here's the thing that gets me, we flirt over the phone like CRAZY. I mean, we did before his girlfriend troubles started. But I dont know if he's being serious or just playful. Help!
Not as such, but whenever anyone says 'oh, you're so gay' he denies it with a burning passion. I mean, he used to say 'And? So what if i am?', but now he seems so much more closed
You can't expect him to come out to you first. So, you either have to bite the bullet and do it, or accept that nothing is going to be able to move forward in this relationship. You also shouldn't date him or fool around with him or anything while he still has a girlfriend, even if he's having problems with her. I think it would be okay to let him know that you are gay, but if he acts on that information to want to be with you, then he has to break up with the girl.
Sounds pretty gay to me! People don't deny stuff that much unless they have something to deny. If you call a straight guy gay, he'll usually laugh and say that he isn't. But if you call someone something that is in any way correct, they'll take it more to heart and they'll deny the fuck out of it. Good luck!
You make it sound like it's easy. I'm not exactly the most confident person and I'm afraid to come out to anyone. I mean, I trust him with anything and yet I'm still afraid.
It`s not easy, but it`s probably the only thing that can really answer your questions. Either he`ll then stop the activities that can be seen as flirting, or he`ll feel more inclined to come out to you as bisexual/gay as well. And unless there`s coming out, the two of you will continue to be stuck in this limbo, unfortunately. If it is easier, you can write it to him. SMS. It`s a tough situation, but if you want anything to change, it`s the only thing to do. Oh, and I second Ianthe. Should you come out to him, and should this develop, you are going to have to tell him to break it off with his GF before something happens...
Sorry, it's just that you are hoping that there will be another answer. And there isn't. It's never possible to date guys who don't know you like guys. I don't think it's easy at all. I'm horribly shy, and have an awful time approaching anyone I'm interested in. But, if I don't do it, nothing will happen. When I do nothing, which is often enough, I have to accept that nothing will happen and it's nobody's fault but mine. It isn't fair that you have this huge extra ordeal of coming out on top of the normal anxiety about crushing on someone. But, that's just the way it is. In the immediate sense, there is nothing we can do about it. Your options are really to either come out to him, or to do nothing and wait for divine intervention--which will probably never come. You don't have to come out to him. But the price is that you have to accept that nothing will change. If he weren't in a relationship, I suppose you would also have the very risky option of just suddenly kissing him or something. But since he has a girlfriend, that would not be right. This kind of question is very common, because people are looking for some other way. But there is no other way. In order to date someone, you have to at least be out to that person.
