1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I get too emotionally attached to people

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lewnatic, Mar 2, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Lewnatic

    Lewnatic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2010
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    And this has been happening since before I realized I was gay, when I used to go out with girls I would always get very emotionally attached, jealous, wondering why they weren't replying to me. Which ultimately led to me coming on too strong. I'm still doing it even as an open gay guy. Just recently I met a brilliant guy and we really hit it off, but he used the term "backed into a corner" towards the end of it and I knew then I had put him off because I had become too emotionally attached and was coming off too strong.

    Does anyone know how I can...stop doing this? It's the core issue with all of my relationships past and present.
     
    #1 Lewnatic, Mar 2, 2013
  2. afraidtomove

    afraidtomove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    A few people
    story of my life - drives me crazy
     
    #2 afraidtomove, Mar 2, 2013
  3. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    To be honest, it sounds like it's not a problem with you getting too attached to people but more an insecurity on your part.

    If you don't trust that they're into you (ie, you get jealous, wonder why thy aren't responding immediately...) then it could be because you don't feel all that great about yourself.

    Not having a very high self-esteem makes people cling on harder to the people around them. Doing some work on yourself and learning how to feel better about yourself will allow you to just sit back a little bit because you'll see that you deserve to be loved and you don't have to try so hard to hold onto people.
     
    #3 thedreamwatch, Mar 2, 2013
  4. Lewnatic

    Lewnatic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2010
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Thank you very much. That's actually helpful. I have very low self-esteem, and I'm starting to work on fixing it. Sounds like I need some "me" time before I start giving it to potential lovers...
     
    #4 Lewnatic, Mar 2, 2013
  5. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    No problem :slight_smile:

    And that's the best thing you could possibly do. Do things you enjoy. Find what you're passionate about, find what you're good at and celebrate it. And with every small accomplishment you make, acknowledge it to yourself. Wear what you want, do what you like. Spend time with people who are positive about life and the future.

    All that stuff helps me when I'm feeling down on myself.

    Also, don't talk bad to yourself. I read this somewhere once and it's eye opening if you keep it in mind often:

    "If you had a friend who talked to you the way you sometimes talk to yourself, how long would you let them be your friend?"
     
    #5 thedreamwatch, Mar 2, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)