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How to improve a friendship with someone you've kind of fallen out with?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by TwoMethod, Mar 3, 2013.

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  1. TwoMethod

    TwoMethod
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    Hey guys,

    There's this guy I know at school, and at one stage it looked like we were going to be pretty good friends, but it didn't work out. We're involved in a few projects in school and stuff together, and it worked out that I did a few things that pissed him off. They weren't things that were a huge deal, but they were done in interest of the respective projects, so I wasn't doing it to annoy him.

    Anyway, since then, he doesn't really reply to texts, and when we're in the same room he makes much less effort than he did before — he seems really cold and distant. I don't know whether it's deliberate, as in that he wants me to get the hint, or if he just isn't making any effort.

    So with that, does anyone have any advice on how to improve relations? How to seem nice and get him to like me again? I'm just looking for some general tips!
     
    #1 TwoMethod, Mar 3, 2013
  2. pinklov3ly

    pinklov3ly
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    Hmm...I've fallen out with a very close friend of mine a few times, but we always made up. So I know what it's like to miss that companionship. Given that you did not do anything wrong, I'd suggest that you just tell him how you feel. Does he know that you're gay? He could very well be attracted to you, but is keeping his distance. Then again, he could have been offended by the projects you've mentioned. Obviously, that isn't your fault because it's for a grade, which should not be a big deal like, you said. If the relationship isn't able to be reconciled then it will be okay. We've all been there before and while it does suck, things will get better (*hug*)
     
    #2 pinklov3ly, Mar 3, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2013
  3. TwoMethod

    TwoMethod
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    Hmmm, I've already told him that I want to be good friends before. The trouble is: we were never that good friends. He's a year behind me, and we work on a common project (not in relation to grades, but extracurricular), so we were always closer than two random people from separate years would be.

    He does know I'm gay, but I don't think he's gay. I was approaching this more from the point of friendship and nothing else, really.

    Do you have any tips though to kind of alleviate being odd and stuff? Like someone before suggested sounding interested in his life again — because we both used ask each other how we've been getting on with various stuff but now that's stopped, and that's why I know there's definitely something slightly off!
     
    #3 TwoMethod, Mar 4, 2013
  4. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Are you sure there's nothing you should apologize for?

    And yes, you should stop acting "odd" if you want him to. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Ianthe, Mar 4, 2013
  5. TwoMethod

    TwoMethod
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    Oh God you must think I am obsessed Ianthe. I wouldn't be only I have to spend so much time with him anyway, so it just makes sense to at least be warmer towards each other.

    And I do have stuff to "apologise" for, but I think he would only think it's me being overbearing and weird by apologising. I think part of my problem was that I was too intense. Apologising only makes that more intense, I think.
     
    #5 TwoMethod, Mar 4, 2013
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