There's this guy that I'm crushing on REALLY hard. He's a really close and trusting friend. When I came out to him, he said that he's straight. But I think he's been throwing me hints, and he might be in the closet. The thing is, I'm hopelessly in love with him. As in crying when I wake up from dreaming about him. No joke. I'm that sad that he can't love me. But I feel like I need to tell him. How can I do that without ruining our relationship? Thanks, -E.F.
I went through this last year. Only I cried a lot durring the day too, all I had to do was think of him. In fact I spent the day with him today. We sat on my portch swing one day last year and I just told him how I felt. He had a girlfriend at that time he was about to leave. In fact just 2 days ago he broke up with her fineally. In my case he was over every day at that time. Well he said he loved me and had thought about it because he noticed I am a really great girl as he put it, but he just could not date me and have people know. Wrong body, and what would his friends think. So he bumped our friendship to add sex every now and then. He had been afraid to ask and had been thinking about it for a while. I really LOVE to give him he-d and he loves me to do it for him. He told me today he may have missed his chance for a really happy life, by hanging on to her too long. He loves my cooking, clean home, the woman I am, the way I make him feel, the whole package but the body, he could care less about the VA-JJ. That is all out of his mouth. I told him today that I will always love him and will always be there for him no matter what, and that he is never alone. I now have a really great husband these days, and he is jealous of my husband. Guys always seem to want what they can't have. I just can't get him out of my heart though! So it can be problematic when you fall for a guy and the timing is off. So just tell him! What is the worst thing that can happen? You are allready living with no and he might say yes! Or like mine and bump you to FWB. June
Be very careful with this. Don't let yourself fall into the place that I've fallen to. If he's saying he's straight, odds are he's straight. My crush said the exact same thing, and like you, I used to think that he kept dropping me hints. I was keeping the fantasy alive. Unless you're like the luckiest guy on earth, trust me, he will never like you back in that way. It will never happen. I know it sounds harsh, but if I can stop your heart from being broken, then I will. Distance yourself from him. It's hard but it's just the way it has to be if you want to protect yourself.
If he's told you he's straight, the possibilities are either that he's straight, or he's not ready to come to terms with not being straight. Either way, keep that in mind - even if you feel like yo have to tell him how you feel about him, know that he's not in a position where he can openly reciprocate.
You know those stories where the commoner can't marry the prince, no matter how close they are and how much they care about each other, because there is a fundamental obstacle to their romantic relationship? This is that story bro. And the fundamental obstacle is sexual attraction. If he says he's straight, he's probably not going to be with you. The sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you can start to get over your infatuation with him. I know it's got to be tough though. Honestly, I wouldn't tell him unless you want to risk damaging your friendship. If you wait a month or two and give yourself a little distance from him, your crush should subside and not be quite so powerful.
