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Broke up with 1st BF because I can't get over my crush.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Draco, Mar 3, 2013.

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  1. Draco

    Draco
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    I started seeing a nice guy but it just didn't workout. I felt kinda bad when I told him I could t see him anymore. It was the first time I ever had to dump a guy. I felt like I had a secret relationship, well I actually did have a secret relationship. He was "Out" and I'm not so I figured it wasn't fare to him. Also I recently told my crush that I wanted to be more than friends and he said no (see "he said NO! Thread) I thought by dating someone else it would help me get over my crush, but in fact every second I was with the guy I was dating I was secretly pretending he was my crush. He was very sweet and actually wanted to be with me but I felt like to spare his feelings in the long run I should finish the relationship in the beginning because it wasn't fare to him because I was emotionally unavailable. Am I going personally going to sabotage every relationship because in my eyes no one else will compare to my crush?:bang:
     
    #1 Draco, Mar 3, 2013
  2. Akatosh

    Akatosh
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    Sorry to hear it didn't work out with the new guy. You may not think it's fair to see other people because you think you're doing it to get over your crush, but what's really unfair, is you starving yourself of fully coming out by hanging on to your crush. Do yourself a favor by moving out and finding a new roommate. I think distance is going to be the crucial factor in you moving on. You're also glorifying your crush, and putting him on a pedestal. It may be purposefully sabotaging. Find a new housing situation, and put this behind you. That's all I can really think of to say.
     
    #2 Akatosh, Mar 3, 2013
  3. Draco

    Draco
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    I honestly think your right. It's just so hard. I feel like I'd be walking away from what I think is the love of my life. I think distance will be best.
     
    #3 Draco, Mar 3, 2013
  4. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Before coming out I had an enormous crush on a girl that I knew, deep down, would never go out with me...but what a convenient excuse to not to take advantage of other opportunities that arose with other women. I'm gay, so having this imaginary commitment to my "perfect love" was the perfect excuse to reject other advances...I just didn't know it at the time.

    Is there something you're trying to avoid with new relationships?
     
    #4 greatwhale, Mar 3, 2013
  5. Rice and Pepper

    Rice and Pepper
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    Ok Draco. I think you have spent too much time and thought on your crush. He said no, and that's that, fullstop. You need to move on.

    Unless there is something we don't know. We need a newsflash. Didn't your crush get a job offer? Isn't he going to leave? Are you still living together? Did anything important that we should know happen between you two?
     
    #5 Rice and Pepper, Mar 7, 2013
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