Asking someone out: lacking confidence

I have a secret for you: Alot of people lack confidence.

Do you know what sets "confident" people apart from self conscious people? Faking it til you make it. If you fake confidence, your mind will eventually start believing your "bluffs." It's all about what you trick your mind into believing. If you trick it into believing you're stupid, people will pick up on it. For you, you think being trans is a bad thing, but it's not. Instead of putting yourself down think "I am a great person... He'd be a fool not to see that." Keep thinking this until you realize... it's true.

Go in with acceptance for the worst answer but with hope for the best answer. Good luck!

 

Imagine for a moment that you are this guy. Do you think jitters will get in between him and what he needs to do? Hardly. He may be a card-carrying badass, but you have the advantage of a much less dangerous mission.

Every time I feel nervous or otherwise disinclined to do something, I just picture a bad mofo fully camo'd up, rising out of the water like this. It helps me capture a little bit of that determination to accomplish things.

 

That's....
awessssoooooommmme..... :eek:

 

Think of the most nervous you've ever been in your life before doing something, maybe like when you came out as trans. Specifically, pick a moment when you were nervous about doing something, but you still did it, and you were glad you did. Then as you're anticipating asking this guy out, think back to that moment and say to yourself, "If I could do that, I can do this."

If you don't have a moment like that to reflect on, thinking of a marine like RSwordsman might help until you have a moment of your own to look back on.

 

Instead of being vague about "you want to see a movie or something", you might frame your request in terms of the actual activity. Do you know he likes movies? Is there a movie coming out soon that you know he'd probably like to see? Then ask in reference to that. "I've been really excited about the Gargoyles movie coming out next week, and I think you said you were a fan, too. Did you want to go see it?"

And it doesn't have to be a movie. A sporting event, a museum exhibit, a band coming to town, anything you think he might be interested in.

Lex