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Ugh prom.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by thegaymer, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. thegaymer

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    Well, prom is coming up and my mom heard about it. She keeps on trying to hook me up with girls to go to the prom with. I really don't want to go but she keeps on trying to make me go. Whenever I say that I don't want to go, she always says "Why don't you want to go? Are you gay or something?" And I get stuck between that because I can't figure out a way around that. :dry:
     
  2. BMC77

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    Well, not going is a valid choice. That was my choice when I was in high school. It had nothing to do with sexual orientation. I simply despised events like that, and I could not see any reason to go. I have never regretted that decision. Unfortunately, some parents don't see things that way for whatever reason. Prom is, I guess, a huge thing in popular culture. So important that one YA author admitted that almost every book she wrote had a prom scene. For some reason, I'm thinking she admitted that she missed her own prom, but it's so long I can't remember for sure.

    If you do go, maybe you can go alone, or with a group of friends. I know at least one person who did that, and it was no big deal at her school.
     
  3. thegaymer

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    I wish that I had the choice to not go but my mom is basically forcing me to go with a girl and I heard that the proms always suck.
     
  4. The Dude

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    Do you have any friends you could go with? Just ask them and make it clear you're just going as friends? I went to both proms, with the same girl, and we never really did anything else together but proms. We had a great time both times. Prom can be a lot of fun when your just having fun and nothing serious is going on, I'd recommend it. Or you could go solo, and just hang out with your friends.

    If you're really against it then nobody should force you though...your call.

    And proms don't always suck, they are what you make it.
     
  5. BMC77

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    Do you have you have any friends who are girls, and would be fine with going just as friends?
     
  6. Vanity

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    Personally, I'd think it'd be an experience you should go to; only one chance to go to prom and you never know maybe you'll enjoy it! Better to go then regret not having gone later on. Just grab a close friend of yours that you'd be comfortable going with and have a blast; dressing up and just having fun with friends along with making tons of memories is definately something you shouldn't miss out on. And how good your prom is all depends on the location and who you end up going with, make the best of the situation and enjoy yourself :slight_smile: Goodluck!
     
  7. FemCasanova

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    If you are willing to sacrifice some dignity for it, next time she is pushing the subject, start crying and run to your room. It will baffle her to the point where she gets more worried about you, and less about the prom :wink: I guess not everyone has control over their tear-sacks, but avoiding her, answering her very short every time she talks to you, giving clear signals that you are not okay about something, can do the same trick. Then when she asks you why you are acting so upset, tell it to her straight, that you are sick and tired of the whole prom issue, and you hate feeling forced to go to an event you really don`t want to attend, because it`s not your thing.

    Give it a second shot, maybe you can change her mind. If not, then simply don`t go anyways. She really going to ground you, for not going to the prom? That`s a bit obsessive, even for a mother.
     
  8. Aldrick

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    You've gotten some good advice so far, and what I'm about to write is somewhat tongue-in-cheek. However, it is also legitimate advice.

    Next time she pushes the subject, bring up the fact that you're considering it. Some of your friends are going to an after prom party with their girlfriends. Bring up the fact that the main party is going to be at someone's house who is "known to be into drugs." Point out that the girl you really want to ask - she's definitely going to the party.

    Also, this girl in question, your friends are pushing you into asking her out and taking her to the party to have sex with her. ...and that you don't want to go to prom, because you know you'll face peer pressure from your friends to go to the after party.

    Make it clear that you've been conflicted about the whole sex thing, and have been considering waiting until marriage... but lately you've been having second thoughts. You want to be responsible, so you'd rather not go. "Stuff like this isn't my thing anyway, I'd much rather stay at home and play some games."

    Finally, point out that if she forces you to go to prom, that you're probably going to need some condoms, at the very least. After all, the last thing you want is for everyone at school to tease you for still being a virgin.

    Sex + Drugs = Parental Panic
     
  9. FemCasanova

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    :lol:

    Brilliant manipulation strategy. Play into their fears! A bit evil, but it would definitely make her rethink forcing you to go to the prom.

    However a possible problem here is the drugs, if she demands to know which of the kids are into drugs, whose house it is that is rumored to be the main party place, then this plan could quickly escalate into getting someone in real trouble, not to mention the OP for "spreading false rumors". If following this plan, I suggest the OP keeps it to the fear of sex pressure by peers and ask for the condoms.

    Mothers can get very obsessive when mentioning drugs, she might rally up a full inquiry, which can have consequences for the OP.

    Yeah, I know, I am a total fun-pooper, but it`s the responsible big sister in me talking :sleep:
     
  10. Aldrick

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    FemCasanova -

    Good point, actually. I didn't think of that. :eusa_doh:

    But yeah, I think the sex thing is more than enough anyway. That alone is probably reason enough to forbid him from ever being alone with a girl, forget about taking one to prom. :lol:
     
    #10 Aldrick, Mar 7, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2013
  11. Ianthe

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    Since she suspects he's gay, she might totally think it's a great idea for him to have sex with a girl

    Parents in denial often display really bad judgement.

    (She definitely suspects you're gay. That's why she's pushing you so hard.)
     
  12. FemCasanova

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    Nice point, I didn`t think of that.

    That makes both all our plans shot down, Aldrick :icon_wink

    *scratching her head*

    No, I think we`re back to the beginning, just don`t go. She cannot physically push you through the doors, and if she grounds you based on you not going to the prom, then simply accept that. I get that this is a tough situation, but unless you are willing to just go there with some random girl to just make her happy, then I think this is one of those times when parents just have to be allowed to be unreasonable, and just deal with it by silently ignoring it until it passes.

    (*hug*)
     
  13. Aldrick

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    Yeah, I actually thought of that as well. However, we don't really have anything to go on aside from the fact that she's practically pushing him into it. There could be a number of reasons she's doing that, and it would seem odd that she'd just flat out ask "are you gay or something"? If she were in denial, wouldn't she be afraid he'd confirm her fears?

    If she was all like, "Okay. That sounds awesome. I'll buy you a box of rubbers and lube. Have fun!"

    That's when you respond with, "Really?! You're offending my sense of Christian morality. Jesus would be really disappointed in you right now, Mom. You need to pray about this and get right with the Lord." :icon_wink

    Then, if necessary, you can play the whole thing off as a joke and flatly tell her that you just want to get her off your back, for her to mind her own business, and that you have no interest in going.

    Then if she keeps pushing, hit her with questions, to uncover her motivations.
     
  14. BMC77

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    Maybe I'm missing something, but the mother asking "are you gay" may also be nothing more than an attempt at manipulation. The last thing many teenage boys want is to be thought of as gay. You could probably get many boys to do incredibly stupid things simply by suggesting that he is gay if he doesn't do what you tell him to do.
     
  15. Kay

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    I am never a fan of hiding the fact anyone is gay. I would say to her when she asks about you going and suggests a girl just say I am considering it now and am trying to decide which guy I should ask. If we want to be seen as equal and normal in society it is time we stop hiding and be who we are. Hugs and love
     
  16. BMC77

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    I've sort of thought this, too. I've also thought that maybe when the mother asked if he was gay, he should have said he's not straight. Although that is probably not the best coming out. And, of course, he may not be ready to start coming out. "So far in the closet I'm in Narnia" suggests that.

    Yes, I see the "stop hiding," and agree in principle. But it's still unfortunately a reality, particularly for many teenagers. At least our society is evolving.
     
  17. I like aldricks plan the best
     
  18. Winfield

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    i secound that
     
  19. Femme

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    I went to two proms. I took my boyfriend to mine and that was just drama but I had fun in spite of the fact that I broke up with him the next day. I also went to a guy's prom that I barely knew. He was a friend of a friend that needed a date. I had such a great time at his prom.

    I say go, bring a female friend and just have fun hanging out. I had the best time at the guy's prom and we barely knew each other. Such a great night.
     
  20. Chloe

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    Of all the options, finding a friend to go as a not-date could be the best, and you might have some fun if you don't take it seriously. I never went to a prom and I wasn't aware of being gay at the time - I just wasn't interested. A bunch of friends got together and had an anti-prom party. That might be even better if you could get something together.