Suggesting a sexual aid to my partner

If so, he should be receptive to trying something new.

One possible idea: you get a supply of lube, and keep it for the next time he wants to reciprocate. At that time, you could pull it out, and say you want to try it.

One thing to keep in mind: you said you are circumcised. Lube can be essential. Many guys (including me) find going totally dry is unpleasant, maybe even impossible.

---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 07:55 PM ----------

One thing to keep in mind....

Relationships have problems come up. It's inevitable. The key to a healthy relationship is to solve those problems as they come along.

Also: not doing anything now might cause bigger problems later.

And this sounds like a part of you definitely wants to try a change.

 

Lube is like two bucks dude. I could probably find two bucks worth of change in my truck.

You're trying to find ways that you can be sexually satisfied in order for him to feel like he is sexually satisfying you.

That sounds like the opposite of selfish to me.

 

One note: my comments above about relationships having problems come up is to attempt to address your concerns about hurting your relationship. I was in a rush when I wrote that.

And don't worry about being selfish! This is what I'd consider selfish: a straight man who makes his partner take 100% charge of birth control. Or maybe the straight man whose idea of sex is to make his wife do everything. (I remember reading a letter to an advice columnist from one woman complaining of this.)

 

And that, I imagine, is a little scary. At least, it would be for me.

But it sounds like you've got a good relationship with a good guy.

As I see it, the worst that will happen is that you decide you don't enjoy the experience. In that case, things should be able to go back to the way they were, except maybe you'd have learned something from the experience.

Or maybe it'll a great experience, and become part of your life.

 

Sounds like a good guy. Don't think you have so much to worry about.

I feel you, and I understand. It was really, really awkward for me the first time I bought lube actually, because it was like I was committing to something. The whole time I was thinking myself: Dude, this is way beyond just fooling around, you are ACTIVELY planning on having sex with another guy. What the hell?

 

Another thought: the first try may not be perfect. It may take more than one try, and lots of patience.

---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 08:06 AM ----------

I vividly remember the first time I bought lube. I was embarrassed to death. One side of my family seemed to have prudish streak that (even now) I haven't completely overcome. (I am sort of amazed at some of the things I've written here over the last few days...) The funny thing came at checkout. The clerk was a teenage boy. He was bright, cheerful, and talkative. Until he saw the box of lube. He suddenly shut up, and got a I'm embarrassed to death look on his face.

 

I don’t buy lube all that frequently, because I am a closeted gay married guy and my wife and I don’t use it, but when I do buy, I buy several bottles at once. It is usually in the evening when I get it so I hang around until there is a really short queue on the checkout manned by the cutest guy and then I go for it in a very matter of fact sort of way and look the guy in the face as he scans the items.

Why do I do this .. simple If I can make someone else more embarrassed then I don’t get as embarrassed myself.

Sale Gay Guy

P.S. Try the type that gives you the extra tingle it’s fun.

---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 09:49 PM ----------

I would encourage you to persevere with self-pleasure, aided by the lube, it’s perfectly normal and natural.

A few years ago my dad passed away with prostate cancer, during his illness I read many articles that indicated masturbation with ejaculation, especially in 20 – 40 year olds, was beneficial to the long term prostate health and good at reducing the risk of cancer in later life.

So have some fun by yourself and with your friend, relax, and do something for your long term physical & mental health.

Sale Gay Guy

 

Unfortunately, not all male clerks get embarrassed. I had one light up like a Christmas tree on fire. His face clearly had a "Cool! He's gettin' some ACTION" look.

Maybe the key is to choose a clerk that looks socially awkward.

---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 02:20 PM ----------

And yes, masturbation might help with prostate health. I don't remember exact studies, but some have indicated that regular ejaculations probably help. I think the studies were biased towards actual sex (and probably straight sex), but it's seems quite logical to assume that masturbation would do just as well. Probably better in many cases, since masturbation avoids STDs, etc.