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My mom reacted negatively when I told her I may leave for University?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by legitawesome17, Mar 8, 2013.

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  1. legitawesome17

    legitawesome17 Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Calgary,Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I am a junior in high school.I talked to my counsellors in high school and
    the education needed for the career path that I want to pursue is not offered
    in the University in my current city(It's also a prestigious University and very
    reputable,but I searched for hours and inquired,it's really NOT offered there).
    I'm considering Occupational Therapy and Physiotherapy.Therefore,I have to
    leave for a city 4-5 hours from here to get my degree after high school.I am already
    looking into the future because I have less than a year and a half more,I could not
    waste any more time.I know they won't pay for it so I'll start working extra hard to
    get into scholarships which could help lift a REALLY heavy load off my shoulder.

    I told my parents about this,they were NOT thrilled.They told me they are not going
    to pay for my University.My dad was quite OK with it but he won't pay if I left the city
    for University.My mom however was not cool at all,she yelled,screamed called me a
    deviant and a bad son and a rebel.She threatened me that she will change numbers
    and threaten me if I continue with my plan,she won't talk to me ever again.She even
    compared me to her friends gay son who dropped out and ran off with an old dude to
    Mexico/El Salvador(no homophobes,please).WTF,I am way smarter than that and I
    am planning to leave to get my life together,not have sex and drugs.She went on and
    on and almost even hit me.My mom told me to find something else but I am firm that
    this is what I want to do for the next 40-50 years of my life.

    I don't understand,they have been always lenient to me.They always allow me to party
    and go out and they don't even ask where I am.They do not meddle with my personal
    affairs/decisions.I understand that they won't pay If I leave,but why the negativity,what
    do I do with them.My mom even insulted me and told me I'll never achieve anything and
    even told I'll never understand her because I'm gay and gays will never be parents(She is
    SOOO ignorant). :tears::tantrum::bang::help:
     
    #1 legitawesome17, Mar 8, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2013
  2. kiwigirl

    kiwigirl
    Regular Member

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    maybe your parents are worried that you will be out of their control if you are in another city? and maybe also they are worried about you leaving the nest or whatever.
     
    #2 kiwigirl, Mar 8, 2013
  3. FemCasanova

    FemCasanova
    Full Member

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    Continue working hard for a scholarship, I commend you for knowing what you want and for being willing to work for it. You could also at that point get a part time job. It is hard to study and work part time, but where there is will, there`s way!

    Sounds to me like your mother was panicking big time! Her precious son, leaving for a city where she won`t be able to follow, watch over you and be a mother full-time. Parents can get like that, she could simply be scared of "losing you", suddenly realizing you are growing into an adult with independent decisions. Try having a calm talk with your father, to win him over a bit, so that maybe he can help you out by talking to your mother. Let him know that this isn`t a rash decision, that you consulted a guidance counselor who helped you figure out what the smart choice would be regarding education. Tell him you simply want to get a good job that you can be happy with, and that his support will mean a lot to you, even if he doesn`t help you pay for it at all. Tell him that it will help just knowing that someone believes in you and what you can accomplish. I am quite sure it would soften him up a bit.

    Then, when he is more on your side, the two of you can both work on turning your mother around, with a little time and patience. Try to be calm with her, even if she gets herself all worked up. Tell her that you understand it`s kind of scary for her, that you need to go so far to get the education you need for the job you want, but that she isn`t losing you or anything, you`ll keep in touch often so that she can feel safe.

    If we`re a bit extra patient and understanding, most of the time the people we talk to give us the same in return, even when they`re not aware of it. And give her a little time to just work through it all.

    I think you have a great plan, and what matters the most is that you have faith in it yourself *hugs!*
     
    #3 FemCasanova, Mar 8, 2013
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