What do you say/do when someone of the opposite sex asks you on a date?

I don't know how to handle this situation--it's never been anything I've been faced with.

However, in your position, I'd probably take the position: "I am not currently dating because I want to be committed to my studies." That way, he won't expect a date, but the possibility of being a friend (if you want him as one) is still open. Assuming you would welcome him as friend, you can tell him that, and suggest a meeting over coffee or whatever.

 

I was sort of afraid of that.

How about claiming to have a relationship back home?

---------- Post added 8th Mar 2013 at 09:19 PM ----------

(I don't generally suggest dishonestly. I'm thinking more about "white lie" to protect feelings. Unfortunately, I tend to be too sensitive at times.)

 

THE HORROR.

nobutsrsly...I'd say suss out his true intentions & then go from there. Make it clear that you're not interested in taking the relationship any further (for obvious reasons); you don't want to string him along, that'd be cruel :3

Luke

 

Ugh, most awkward situation ever.

 

I had a guy in my class (in junior year of high school) who asked me out. He had just moved here from another city, so I didn't know him. Back when we had assigned seating, I ended up sitting behind him. Before class started, he'd always turn around and talk to me and say random funny things. Long story short, he added me on myspace, we exchanged numbers (because he asked for it), and he kept chatting with me on myspace messenger and through texting. Then he started calling and eventually told me through text that he liked me. He kept asking me if I liked anyone and if I wanted a boyfriend. I told him no (but I was really in love with my female best friend) and no. He asked me why I didn't want a boyfriend, and I just said, "Because I just don't." Then he asked me to guess who he liked, and when I said I didn't no, he told me it was me. When we saw each other again at school, things got a bit awkward. He still tried to ask me if I'd go to a movie with him, but I turned it down by saying that I didn't have time.

So I guess to answer your question: I just said that I didn't want a boyfriend because I don't want one haha. I wasn't out to anyone in high school, especially not when I was in love with my best friend who's a straight female. I also couldn't tell the guy that. I just got a little uncomfortable because I didn't know how to handle the situation with him, so I just avoided him or tried to make it clear that I wasn't interested. I didn't like how I handled the situation, and looking back, I have regrets about how I treated it and him. I could have been less evasive and more sensitive to how he felt, especially since he took the chance to tell me how he felt. But at that time, I really didn't know what else to do.

You really don't have to come out to escape this situation. Very simple answers like "I just don't want a relationship right now" or "I don't have time for a relationship" are more than valid and believable. You can protect your own privacy and let him down at the same time while being sensitive (if he seems like a nice guy who is genuinely interested in you).

 

I have used the fake boyfriend excuse a few times to save a guy's ego and not have to out myself to someone that isn't important in my life. I don't think it the worst thing in the world. I have also not said boyfriend but simply said, "I'm sorry but I'm already taken." I usually say that and if pressed use my best guy friend's name.

Once I decided to try honesty and said that I had a girlfriend and the guy just thought that was cool and said I should invite her too. So that's the last time I was honest when turning down some guy.

 

I would ask if they had a lesbian sister?

 

"I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested." Or, "I just don't feel that way about you."

This is the truth, after all.

It's also what I would say if a woman I wasn't interested in asked me out.

 

I've had to turn down guy friends more often than I'd like and you said it perfectly about getting blindsided by an attraction that grew out of sight. It sucks, but tiptoeing around it or trying to be accommodating can lead to more misunderstanding and hurt feelings for him and you.
Just be honest, "I don't see you that way", "I really like you and want to keep being friends, but I don't want to be more than that". There's a chance you will lose his friendship, but if he was only interested in you romantically, the friendship was bound to fall apart sooner or later anyway. You deserve friends who enjoy your company and friendship.

 

LOL :lol: Good one.

---------- Post added 9th Mar 2013 at 11:40 AM ----------

Sure! And yeah, if you're graduating soon and going off to the military, a relationship really wouldn't make sense anyways. But you can't be too sure what he's after until you've talked with him more, so I'd say just don't worry yet.