So there's this guy, Darren, and well he's practically making my life suck lately. Shall I explain? I fell for him at first sight. I'm not gonna lie, it happened. I haven't told anyone though, because, well, they might think I'm weird. My dad had taken me to my job interview at our local amusement park (if you REALLY wanna know, PM me, but otherwise it's a secret...shhh!). The lady at the desk gave me some papers to fill out and told me to sit at a desk. I turned to the desks and there he was. Curly, blonde hair, baby face, pink polo shirt...Darren...(is it sad that I remember what he was wearing two years later?). We didn't talk and eventually he got called back and then me. I was utterly infatuated even though I didn't seem him anymore that night. I had even texted my friend Athena the moment I left HR (Human Resources for those who don't know) and talked about him. That's how it all began. All summer I wanted to see him, meet up with him, ANYTHING! I knew from after he came out of his interview that he couldn't work all of the time and only every so often. But I never saw him! Then one day I walked to my game (I'm a games operator) and opened up and got ready for the day. Oddly enough the game next to me was empty. My break leader for that day came within five minutes with none other than Darren! For the next two days we worked next to each other and got to know each other. Coincidence? I think not. We talked on Facebook mostly and then on July 4th of that summer we started texting. The rest of the summer went pretty well. I saw Darren a decent amount and we always got time to have fun and goof off (surprisingly I have goofed off so much and this will be my third summer...veteran games operators represent!). Then came the non-work months. I never saw him and kept telling myself that I was over him. I was going good too. I didn't text him...much. I focused on school. Darren wasn't in my mind at all. Then I got my rehire letter...and everything came back. Last summer was rough though. We originally got along great, but then I started to annoy him, to the point where he told me not to text him at all. But I still liked him! My favorite occasion was when one day after work chicken fries were only $1 for employees! I told him and we spent like an hour after work hanging out and walking around and then going to see my friend Erica. The key thing that made me initially change my feelings about him was a party he went to. I was away on vacation but he went. There was drinking...something I don't really approve of for underage...Once I found this out my feelings were gone. I was pissed and every possible positive emotion I had was down the drain...or so I thought. Now we're in the present day. Recently we got our rehire letters. I was bored so I started texting people asking when they're rehire meetings were. I asked Darren and he told me something that shattered my heart. He's not coming back. But now all my feelings are back. I care about him again, but I'm never going to see him. What's wrong with me?! Please help me understand this! And if you got through all of this, kudos.
You have a very big crush on someone who appears not to share your feelings. You need to accept that nothing is ever going to come of it, and chalk it up to a good life experience. It was totally a coincidence that he was working at the booth next to you. Yes, really. It was not a sign from God or something. I'm sorry, I know these things can be hard to accept sometimes.
I know he doesn't share the same feelings. He's straight. I already have accepted that. I also know our friendship at work was fun while it lasted. But why do I feel this way about him now? After I know I won't see him again? After I told myself that I am 100% over him? Also, I know it was just a coincidence. That's just how my writing style is.
Hmmm, ok. First, if you were away on vacation and heard that there was drinking going on at a party that he attended, it would be best not to jump to conclusions. Not to mention, If he was your boyfriend and you heard this rumor, would you immediately break up with him? I would hope not. Communication is key. Even if he was drinking, it is important to know why, what was his mindset, before you let assumptions jade your mind. It seems like you want these things to mean more than they actually do. Its a horrible feeling to fall for, or in worst cases love, someone who doesnt feel the same. Doesnt matter how intelligent or mature, we may believe ourselfs to be, it happens to the best of us. I believe him not coming back might actually be a great thing for you. It will hurt now, but imagine what it would feel like to see him every day this summer and the next. The quicker you rip off the tape, the less it will hurt. Edit: Because emotions are unfortunately never that logical. Overtime you may get better at influencing them, but we never fully have control.
He was there to party and have fun and drink. I still remember the night of the party. I had gone over to my cousins beach house to go in the pool and then play some Xbox. When we were going back inside I texted him. I told him that I didn't like when people underage would drink. He said he didn't know why because there's nothing wrong with it. Honestly, if he were my boyfriend...it definitely would've hurt our relationship, but he's not, he wasn't and will never be. I know that not seeing him should make me feel better, that it should help getting over him. My heart actually hurts right now as I read our conversations from over the summer and just flat out wonder 'what happened to us?' In my current state I just can't see these feelings healing, at least not anytime soon. It also doesn't help me that NO ONE that I could POSSIBLY talk about this will text me back...thanks guys...
Unfortunately, there really isnt anything more to understand. These pain will definitely heal, and I am sure faster than you might think. It just takes time. The feelings will slowly fade and you will begin to think about him less and less. As frustrating as it is, you just must be patient.
It's just the only way I can possibly think of getting better is cutting him out of my life entirely...which is something I can't do. It's been two years since I've first had my crush on Darren and it's obviously shown that these feelings just don't go away, no matter how hard I tell myself that I'm over him. I'm a very impatient person so it's hard for me to see a future where my crush on him no longer exists. I've never had a crush on a guy for this long, it's always been maybe a week or two or even three but then it's over, but not this time. I guess it's true what they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'
What the age difference between you two? What if you acknowledge that he is who he is, and then maybe find out where he is gonna go to college? ask him if he ever wants to hang out, but please dont annoy him with texts
He's the same age as me, 16. I already know where he wants to go to college, Penn State for Engineering. What do you mean 'acknowledge that he is who he is'? See I could ask him if he wants to hang out, but a) he wouldn't text me back or b) if he did I wouldn't know what to do.
