I came out a year ago and now it is just awkward around some family and friends. I have some problems with my family they act all supportive but at the same time they tell me to keep it all on the he Dl. For example one night it I was having a conversation with my mom and she had the balls to tell me to be quiet because she didn't want her fiance to know. The same thing happens at a "friend" house, I'm a tall guy he has short counters so I was on my knees breaking something up when I made a joke and he hushed me so his gurlfriend in the next room wouldn't hear me. It's bad enough having to watch my back in the town I live in but now my own family and friends are censoring me. How have some of you dealt with it? I'm used to pushing family and friends away, that's always been a problem I've been trying to work on but they make it so hard to want to keep them close. So any advice is appreciated.
I guess it will have to come down to you bringing your boyfriend home (if you have one), and making it plain that there will be no hiding that fact. There's nothing like an actual physical presence of someone important to you to make things obvious (it takes balls too!)
Right now I'm single. I just have a hard time dealing with people usually if something goes wrong or it doesn't feel right in push them away, and boy have a pushed a lot of others away I don't even talk to my family and only have a few close friends. I'm trying to deal with these problems diffrently then I have instead of cutting them off, don't have many people left to push away
They need assurance that this is what it is and that it's real. It's not gonna go away so you need to let them know that they can't try making you hide things forever because it would be as hard for you as it would for them I guess it comes down to the fact that they may feel uncomfortable with it and that could be why they want things hidden, so being yourself around them is gonna be the best way for them to get used to who you are and not have to worry about what others could think and how it affects them
Unfortunately, I don't feel I have any significant advice, other than to talk to them about how it makes you feel (i.e. inferior). I certainly think what they're doing is absolutely wrong. They're treating you like you're something "bad." Ask them to try to think how this would make them feel.
At your next family gathering (invite your friends) stand up and yell "I Am TOPHERBOSS (or whatever the hell your real name is) I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD!!!!" Note: I propose this as a way to handle the problem at hand, it would almost certainly have consequences, I would put considerable thought into it before attempting. SupremeEmperor accepts no responsibility for any intended or accidental side effects.
To be quit honest I think their slightly in denial. Thinking about it last night, if you met me you wouldn't think I was gay because I don't act like the stereotypical gay guy, they don't understand that I may be gay but I'm still a guy. But who knows I'm in to much of a good mood to be down about it today. I'll give them time but if they don't except it, screw em, family or not don't really need them but I will give it time.
