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closet relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by mada85, Mar 10, 2013.

  1. mada85

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    reading, pa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Just wondering if anybody here has ever dated someone who was in the closet? Just recently admitted to myself what i really want, still not ready to let everybody know though. I've been talking to a guy lately, my first relationship with a guy. He has been very supportive and understanding i just don't feel right, I'm definitely in the closet, we have gone out in public but i just don't feel right being in a relationship, how can he really like me or i him if i hide him from everybody i know and love? I really like this guy i'm just not ready to come out, he says its okay and is understanding, I'm. Is there anybody who has been in this situation? Is there anyway it will work? :bang:
     
  2. Akatosh

    Full Member

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    The first and only guy I've ever gone on a few dates with was the same way. I was very afraid of letting anyone know I was seeing him. Eventually, I found that I wasn't actually attracted to him, and more attracted to the idea that I was making headway in my self-discovery, so I broke things off. If I found someone I was absolutely crazy about, I might keep it secret from my family for a little while, but I'd eventually bring him around AFTER coming out. The reason for this is, I wouldn't want my family to release their tension over my sexuality on him - blaming him for making me gay, or whatever else they'd think up. If you know you like him and want to keep him around, definitely use this relationship as a catalyst to coming out.
     
  3. castle walls

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    I was with my last gf for about five years and I was in the closet. We broke up but it had nothing to do with me being in the closet. Dating in the closet is possible but it is difficult
     
  4. Jared

    Full Member

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    The first guy I dated was in the closet. It was rather difficult since while I don't tend to flaunt my sexuality I don't waste energy trying to hide it and he was very awkward in public always worried that we would run into his friends or his roommate. It wasn't the reason we broke things off, he had really bad insecurities and got jealous easily, but after that experience I don't think I could date someone in the closet again.

    If I really liked someone I might try it again, and while I wouldn't ever want them to come out for me, I'd at least want them to be planning on coming out sometime, something Sean wasn't. And my current bf is out too and it's nice to be able to hold hands with him in public and to not worry who we run into.
     
  5. FallenAngel

    FallenAngel Guest

    Aw hun, there is no need to beat yourself up about it! I've been there. Come out when YOU are ready. And hey, if he is saying he understands and is really being sincere about it, there's no rush. It also means you have a great guy! Come out when you're ready. Baby steps dear. Trust me. It's taken me 10 years to really be loud and proud about it and I couldn't be happier. Best of luck to you (*hug*)