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Pray the gay away :/ (struggling)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Perrydaplatypus, Mar 13, 2013.

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  1. Perrydaplatypus

    Perrydaplatypus
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Washington D.C.
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have always been religious, and my entire life is centered on religion, my friends, my family even the colleges I have applied to. I realized my entire plan for life could not work out if I came out of the closet. I guess you could say I tried to pray the gay away, will guess what? It didn't work.... Anyway in the meantime I started dating a girl. We have dated for almost 6 months, and we have only kissed. Luckily she shares similar religious beliefs so I have an excuse for it. However even though I "liked" her, I realized with some struggling that I am not bisexual and the feelings I felt for her were just emotional responses to struggles in my life. Anyway I feel so trapped. I feel awful dating her because she feels so strongly for me, but I have almost no feelings for her! It's like I just used her to try and see of I could be straight and I feel so bad for that :frowning2: but I can't break up with her cause its like I feel like the breakup is me letting go of all my old life, and I am not ready to do that. Also to make things worth I have Fallen in love with one of our mutual best friends. We all often hang out together and that makes me feel even worse cuz as she showing affection for me I find myself stuck on him. Whenever I get a text I hope it is from him, and often it's from her and I find myself disappointed that the text was from my girlfriend , and of course I feel bad. Further, ever since our friend found out that my girlfriend and I had kissed he has gotten more distant, and it seems like he does not flirt with me as much as he used to (see my other post) anyway I feel that now no only am I hurting my girlfriend, but I could also be hurting the one guy I truly want to be with.

    Has anyone else been in a similar position? Any advice, stories, or Experiences would be appreciated!
     
    #1 Perrydaplatypus, Mar 13, 2013
  2. josh9623

    josh9623
    Full Member

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    The situation with your girlfriend is very similar to mine, my advice on that (though you may not like it) is to work up the courage and tell her.

    As for the mutual friend, do you know that he is gay? or are you just speculating?

    Your girlfriend, in my opinion, is the first person you should come out to. Then, after you tell her, try to come out to your friend if you think he will be accepting. But, just a warning be ready for the emotions after you come out, they will be from both of you. While this may not be accurate in all cases for me I feel like I took my coming out worse than my ex-GF, so be strong and work through it, it's tough but it will be worth it in the end.
     
    #2 josh9623, Mar 13, 2013
  3. Toneth

    Toneth
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    northeast ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    well you may or may not be ready to move forward with the coming out process yet, as its different for everyone, and there is no road map, but you owe it to her to at least break up with her, even if you just tell her its because there isn't a spark, its not fair to keep dragging her along... anyway, letting go of her will allow you to at least spend some time learning to love yourself, and to find out more about yourself.
     
    #3 Toneth, Mar 13, 2013
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