This is basically going to start out the way a lot of the posts on this part of the forums probably do: So there’s this girl… We’re very different people in many ways, but we have a lot of random things in common- not just in an “oh, I like the color orange too!” way but on deeper mindset ways. She’s not just some girl I’ve never even spoken to- we are friends, but we’ve only been since about August or so… In any case, we had that cliché ‘click’ thing. Like I’d never seen her before in my life, but it felt like there was at least a bit of chemistry and it didn’t take long for us to become friends, and for me to develop something of a crush on her. PLOT TWIST: She’s kind of been doing things that make me somewhat wonder if she’s into me as well. I’m only out to a few people, and the one person I’ve informed about all this thinks this girl is into me as well. But I’m apparently oblivious when it comes to things like this. Because I’m a pretty level-headed, literally-minded person and kind of a freak like that, I’ve basically made a list of all the suspicious things she’s done and still can’t figure it out. Warning: this could get lengthy…lengthier than it already is. The streamlined version is ‘She adopts random quirks when talking to me, she does little things for me, she signed me up to be in the same hotel room, and she does a lot of unneeded hand-touching and watching.’Below is my long, but still streamlined, list. 1. Increasingly often, she’s doing things like bringing me (just me) my sheet music even though she’s brass and I’m rhythm section, making me this rainbow lanyard (Because it was “not straight”), without me asking (Because I’m not the type who likes people doing things for me, but whatever.) 2. She recently took of her glasses and had me look into her eyes “to see if they were red” but they were just fine…the atmosphere was awkward, but not uncomfortably so. 3. At random points lately, she kept touching her hand to her lips or tugging her jacket sleeve over her hand, then putting her hand over her mouth for a second…wtf??? It looked like a habit, but I’ve never seen her do it before and she doesn’t seem to do it when talking to anyone else. As she’s talking to me, she’ll keep either reaching up to brush her bangs away even when they’re nowhere near her eyes or tossing her head to do the same thing… 4. When we’re together and I’m not looking at her, I’ll look up to see her watching me, which has happened to two or three other occasions. 5. She laughs at even my lamest jokes. Seriously, I made this joke about her being a dyslexic agnostic insomniac (which she is) asking her if she stayed up at night wondering if there really was a dog. It was probably the dorkiest thing I’ve ever said, which is saying something, but she genuinely laughed anyway… 6. I was really uncomfortable wearing my scratchy orchestral gown in jazz rehearsal…for one, because she kept glancing back at me when I guess she thought I didn’t notice. 7. Instead of asking anyone remotely near her on the left side of the room for something, she’ll walk halfway across the big room to ask me, even though she’s not that shy and has other friends in the room. 8. I was off on one of my tangents on the beauty of some eye colors- especially grey. She, who happens to have slightly greenish light grey eyes, got really red and sort of laughed and looked down at her desk before our other friend changed the subject. 9. She blushes a lot…. 10. She sort of took the liberty of signing me up to be in the same hotel room as her in our trip to New Orleans for heritage festival (Not that I mind one bit) She seemed weirdly a little nervous when she told me. I think it was the same day she gave me the lanyard, but I could be wrong. 11. She keeps like reaching for my hand unnecessarily. Like to use my eraser when she could have just asked me to hand it to her. Most of the time, her fingers would brush the back of my hand. Maybe on the same day, but I’m not sure, we were talking about hand size (I have obvious bass player hands. We were both shaking so much we couldn’t get our hands against each other’s. Don’t know about her, but I was shaking even more than usual out of nervousness. It’s hard to tell with two unsteady-handed people. (Her hands are soft) 12. She fidgets with her hands a lot when she’s talking to me, and though she claims she always does this, I haven’t noticed her do it when talking to others. I don’t know her orientation because I have the world's worst gaydar and I don't buy into stereotypes, and- obviously- don’t know her thoughts on me beyond friendship. We’re both pretty anti-social, me more than her, so just asking her or watching her friends is out of the question. I’d like to get a few other opinions…My thanks!!!
I feel your pain! xD I'm currently crushing on one of my friends as well (who's orientation I don't know either >.<)! I don't know how much good advice I can give on this subject, considering I haven't really gotten anywhere, but one thing that did strike me in your post was that your friend sounds a lot like myself- right down to the dyslexic/insomnia (and for a while I was agnostic as well xD)- so maybe it would help if I listed some ways I act around my crush? Might not be helpful, but it might be good to compare and contrast how your friend acts to someone similar to her who isn't into guys and more new to this whole thing (which, I think, is what it sounds like your friend is). - I love to give things to my crush- mostly things that I make by hand. Seeing her smile when I give her these items is seriously one of the greatest things in the world to me. ^.^ - I often get fidgety around her. I'm worried I'm going to screw up I guess. xD Like your friend, I've developed nervous ticks when I'm around her- mainly playing with my sleeves and flicking my bangs away from my eyes. She's one of the few people I can make eye contact with (and the only person I enjoy making eye contact with). - Having the urge to hold or brush against my crushes hand is a constant battle. Every dang day. xP I never have the guts to do it because I don't know how she'll respond .~. - I enjoy looking at my crush's face when she's not looking. - I LOVE to make my crush laugh; Total. Confidence. Booster. On multiple occasions I've made her laugh so hard she cried and had to tell me to stop being hilarious so she could breathe xD (Great, now I'm grinning like an idiot just thinking about that again XD) - We both always laugh at each others jokes, no matter how corny they are :3 - We can read each other like a book. I've had entire conversations with her solely though eye contact. For example, one day I left for school without eating breakfast (something I didn't tell her), and later in the day, after I had eaten my own lunch, I was still starving. Some of our friends were talking and everyone had finished eating and had put their lunches away, so I must have had a pretty pitiful expression on my face because our eyes locked for a few seconds and she asked me if I wanted to have a tangerine that she had. [Me: Oh, no, I'm okay for right now~ ^.^' Her: .... How about now? Me: .. Yeah, okay, now is good. .-.] - I often follow slightly behind her so that our shoulders are almost touching- I tend to be fairly protective of her. - She understands me better then any other person in my life, in far more ways then one (I have a slight speech impediment and I often get asked to repeat things, but she's never had a problem understanding me) and because of this I enjoy speaking to her a lot. - I perk up immediately when I see her. I'm sure people around me have noticed this as well. It's just a very weightless, elated feeling... - Because I've never been the type to be touchy with anyone (I can't even handle hugs), it was really weird at first to feel like hugging her and holding hands and such, and I knew she'd realize immediately that that behavior would be fairly out of character for me. Instead of letting on, I like to bump into her playfully. She usually bumps back. :3 To me it sounds like your friend may be into you, but possibly just experimenting her own interests. If I had to give advice, I'd probably say wait it out, play along with her, and see if anything blossoms from there. :3 Granted, it's about 1 in the morning for me and I'm fairly sleep deprived, so you should wait for other people's opinions on the matter! xD
Only she knows how she feels about you but it sounds like she could definitely have a big crush on you. (*hug*) The thing is, just waiting it out isn't ever going to work with two people who both refuse to talk about it. If you can't bring yourself to just tell her how you feel, then next time you make her laugh or blush you could try saying "Hey... I like someone." Then you can be playful about it which might be easier on the nerves and still move things in the right direction. Or you could try just coming out to her, which is the best way to find out if it's possible for you to be together. She'll be relieved if she likes you and doesn't have to guess your orientation either.
My sincere thanks to both people who posted replies- any bit of advice helps. I've got rehersal with her only monday and friday this week, and was considering asking her to come see a movie with two friends and I on one of our off days. I was planning on doing this casually, as just a way for us get to know eachother outside of class and rehersal- something like "My friend is taking this girl with him, so if you're not terribly busy, maybe you'd like to come along with me...?" so I'm leaving it up to her whether or not it's an actual date. Is this a good plan or a mistake?? I'd be MOST appreciative if someone could offer their opinion before I see her tomorrow!!
Thanks for the comments, all. I've forgotten a bit and don't want to start another thread just for it: in the event that she is into me, what do I proceed to do???
