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Does my friend like me as more than a friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by josh9623, Mar 18, 2013.

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  1. josh9623

    josh9623
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    Ok, so there is a guy in one of my everyday classes and i think that he may have a bit of a crush on me but i'm not sure, he has never outright said that he was gay but he's hinted at it, and i kinda get that vibe from him. I don't really know how i would feel about him as more than a friend (i see him as the kind of person who is better in small doses) but, if he wanted to hang out i probably would. He seems to gravitate toward me when he's not doing anything, and we'll talk a little as I work (at least til the teacher tells him to go back to his group) and he also likes to get somewhat physical (not necessarily sexual) with me, and not so much with his other friends, a few days ago he told me he loved me but i feel unsure of how he mean it, and today he walked up behind me and started to give me a massage, then playfully pinch at me. so is it just me or does it seem like he's trying to send a message. i plan to either get him where we can talk privately or send him a message on facebook soon but haven't really had the chance as i would prefer the face to face so that he would be easier to read. any opinions?
     
    #1 josh9623, Mar 18, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Get him alone and ask him simply: "do you date guys?" then see what happens...
     
    #2 greatwhale, Mar 18, 2013
  3. josh9623

    josh9623
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    I was thinking about doing something like that but not necessarily that blunt
     
    #3 josh9623, Mar 18, 2013
  4. elandra

    elandra
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    of course he likes you more than just a friend,

    all the signals are there,

    and you are both gay,

    what is the problem?

    what answer do you wish to get from us on EC?

    On how to send a text message or facebook invite? lol
     
    #4 elandra, Mar 18, 2013
  5. josh9623

    josh9623
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    I guess the issue is that i'm not really sure how i feel about him, and i guess i'm wanting advice on how i should handle it (give it a try or otherwise)?
     
    #5 josh9623, Mar 18, 2013
  6. elandra

    elandra
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    oh so you are sure about being gay,

    but just not sure about him as a person?

    if you are not sure then find out,

    if something bothers you see it as an adventure to explore......

    see it as an opportunity to get to know yourself better by trying to get to know what he is all about.
     
    #6 elandra, Mar 18, 2013
  7. josh9623

    josh9623
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    I'll try to pull him aside at school tomorrow and talk about it,lol kinda funny that this is happening at the same time one of my friends is trying to hook me up with someone
     
    #7 josh9623, Mar 18, 2013
  8. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    there are some questions that need to be stated right away, be blunt first, explain later after the initial shock (if shock there be!) wears off; you might be surprised by the answer, and he is likely to be at the very least flattered...
     
    #8 greatwhale, Mar 18, 2013
  9. skiff

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    Hi,

    greatwhale is correct. You have any idea how few people are really going to truly care for you, let alone tell you the love you in your lifetime? These are precious few folks. Being direct and honest with them always is the best policy. Don't beat around the bush (npi) be friendly and direct. You might just be seeing his nervousness which will abate.
     
    #9 skiff, Mar 19, 2013
  10. josh9623

    josh9623
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    ok, so i almost talked to him about it but i couldn't get him alone, as i see this as a Private conversation, so i don't really want to talk about it in front of either of our friends. I also think i'm having a little trouble figuring out how o feel about him. I see him as just a friend but there was a little while when i was questioning that i kinda liked him in that way, so i think that i still need to talk to him but also start spending some more time with him to maybe help me figure out how i feel about him, so does this sound good or do you think i should do something else as i really don't have much experience with this kind of stuff.
     
    #10 josh9623, Mar 19, 2013
  11. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Does he know you are gay?
     
    #11 Ianthe, Mar 19, 2013
  12. josh9623

    josh9623
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    I don't know if he knows or not but if i had to guess i'd say he doesn't
     
    #12 josh9623, Mar 20, 2013
  13. josh9623

    josh9623
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    He's Straight

    at least i'm out to one more person
     
    #13 josh9623, Mar 20, 2013
  14. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Good for you for taking that chance!

    It really is a numbers game, keep trying, often, it takes many attempts before you find that one person that made it all worthwhile!
     
    #14 greatwhale, Mar 20, 2013
  15. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Congratulations on coming out. It's much better to figure these things out as early as possible, rather than letting your thoughts about it grow into an enormous thing before acting.
     
    #15 Ianthe, Mar 21, 2013
  16. skiff

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    Accept his answer but if he continues down the physical route I would not rule out closeted or in denial.

    Fine to be friends with him just don't fall into an emotional trap.

    If a person cannot admit it to themselves it is unlikely they can say it to anyone else.

    If he is in the closet or in denial it may manifest as being overtly physical or the guise of "curious experimentation". But unless he accepts himself any play with you will only hurt you (eg: you bond with him, he uses you and walks away).

    Careful.
     
    #16 skiff, Mar 21, 2013
  17. nyc

    nyc
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    i had the same problem with a girl in my class and i got quite awkward and started taking the mess out of her when she would do somthing "gay like" or "flirty" and then we ended up not being friends no more. dont do what i did! if this person is gay and knows your are, they may need someone to talk to and feel comfortable with, you may be the person that helps them realise who they are and help them come out to them selves and others.
    hope my advice helped a little x
     
    #17 nyc, Mar 21, 2013
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