On Saturday a guy came up to me in the student's union and told me I was cute, then made out with me and came back to my flat. We didn't do anything except make out that night, but the next day he began texting me about an event he was at while I was at a bar on campus, then he left early to come to the bar and see me (it must have cost him a bit and taken a while as it was far away) and then came back to my flat where we made out, 69'ed, and he slept over. Stuff like this doesn't happen to me. I don't get approached in bars, nobody gets crushes on me, my sex life is minimal. Needless to say, I was fairly excited about the whole thing. So today we met up for a drink during the day and we just chatted for about 2 hours. It was really nice and he was really sweet and easy to talk to, but then some of his friends came over and sat down at our table. That in itself was awkward as I didn't know them. But one of this friend then asked him if things were official with a guy (I didn't catch the name). He replied 'yeah, since wednesday'(i.e. a week ago, before we did stuff). He then texts me and says that he's been seeing somebody and things only just got made official, and soon after we leave and one of his friends comes with us, so we go our separate ways without saying anything. I'm just so unbelievably mad about the whole thing! I mean, some people might just say that it's only blowjobs, but in my mind he cheated on him with me! And that just makes me feel all dirty and gross. When he agreed to meet up with me he said it would have to just be as friends, and I said I was hoping for more than that, which he then said he was 'happy to hear' and arranged us meeting up. And his friend mentioned it just as we were leaving, so I'm just like 'were you ever going to tell me about him?'. And while we were talking he was asking me if I'd be at the student's union on friday and when I said I wasn't, but I was going to a party in his building he said that he would come a find me when he came back. He texted me to check if we were still friends and I wussed out and just said yeah but inside I'm like 'No. 1) when were we friends in the first place? Before or after you made moves on me two nights in a row? 2) I don't need more friends. I have plenty and none of them have sucked my dick while they were seeing someone.' :tantrum::tantrum::tantrum: Eugh, I'm just venting more than needing a reply, but I'm not blowing this out of proportion am I? I feel like such a dick for getting my hopes up.
I think one of the things we all need to work on is being honest with people. I don't think you need to come across as some rude little ass, but how could you be friends with this person? I think that if it is brought up again, you need to be honest, only to help yourself. He did cheat... "official" makes me think there's some history between them. However, don't blame yourself or think you did anything wrong. It's a "wrong place, wrong time" kind of situation.
Well... Should we talk more before we let people suck our dicks? Not trying to be mean but talking about stuff that matters (eg: what sex means to me) are important.
That's so mean!! I'm sorry that that happened to you sweetie it isn't fair for people to do that. It's not your fault though because he didn't tell you the truth. It's unfair to you and his "official" lover who probably knows nothing about this... I mean honestly he wasn't even a week into the relationship and he did that?? I'm sorry hon that shouldn't have happened and you have every right to be angry... (*hug*)
In my defence; I told him I didn't do one night stands and sent him home with my number after refusing to let him in my room on the first night we met. Admittedly I shouldn't have let him come back the second time we met but we'd been texting all day, and he's come a long way to meet me, and he's seemed nice, and it's been a long time since I did anything so I just decided to agree to bring him back (and I turned him down for full on sex, which was a good move in hindsight). Additionally, he asked me if I had a boyfriend when we were chatting on saturday at the student's union, which kinda lead me to assume that he didn't either. Should probably have checked. Although yes, I agree. I usually am much more picky about who I let suck my dick and the one time I let myself be spontaneous this happens, so that just serves me right I guess.
Why would you be friends with him? He's just going to use you and manipulate you anyway. No good could really come out of that. For future purposes, try waiting a little longer before having sex. As someone who's been in your shoes before where someone had sex with me then decided he didn't like me anymore, it's just best to wait and really get to know someone. Don't beat yourself up, though. There are way better guys out there.
I don't think that you're blowing things out of proportion. He did cheat on his bf with you. I don't think that you should beat yourself up about it though. You didn't know. I agree. If you're looking for something serious, you should probably avoid having any type of sex so early. If you're not looking for anything serious then go ahead but please be safe. Keep in mind that if someone wants to have sex with you all it means is that someone wants to have sex with you. It doesn't necessarily mean that they like you, love you, want to be in a relationship, or anything else. Also, before engaging in any type of sex, you may want to talk about what it means and make sure that your partner isn't seeing anyone else Best of Luck!
