Is it daft that I feel bad for being gay

Surrogacy. It's a thing. Being gay does not prevent you from having biological children if it's important to you.

 

Don't be daft... You have options. This need not necessarily end your DNA line.

 

I agree! Im going to find a surrogate when i'm older.

 

MathewJS,

Becoming a dad myself at age 35... Do it younger. You have no idea how much energy young kids have and you gotta keep out in front of them.

 

Eh, I feel the same way.

I'm not an only child, nor the only child bearing my name however my family name will most likely end with me still. All the rest of the linage is female and there is little chance of that changing. I'm the only male that will carry my family name and I'm gay :bang:.

I'm dreading telling any of my extended family, most of them just talk about carrying on the name and how I look so much like my great relatives (Who to be honest were all @rse holes). So yeah; I get the feeling, it can be a bit of a downer sometimes.

 

Surrogacy is an option.

But don't discount the value of adoption. Yes, the child won't share your DNA, but you still have a chance for a real connection with the child. And that connection can be more real in many ways than a DNA connection. Just ask someone who has an in-law who becomes part of the family, even if the in-law status technically ends through divorce.

Years back, I knew someone who was adopting children. He told me that he and his wife were incapable of having their own children. (Which proves there are no guarantees for anyone, straight, or otherwise.) When I said something about sorry to hear that, he said it was no big deal. He was the one raising the children. He was the one teaching them values. As far as he was concerned, they were his children.

 

There are also options where lesbian and gay couples (or individuals) co-parent together. Or you could adopt children and also donate to a sperm bank, if you just don't want your genetic line dying out.

There are options. You can decide whether or not to take them.

And keep in mind that it was always a possibility that it wouldn't work out for you to have children. That happens to straight people, too.

 

I think that you have some options to think about. If you think the family DNA is important the surogasy is the path for you. If DNA is not important then adoption is the best path to take. What everyou do provide a warm loving home to a child and it will be right for you and for the child.

 

There's still several ways that you can have kids, one of which is surrogacy, which means biologically, the child will be yours. Me myself, want to two young girls when I'm ready for kids, biologically or otherwise

 

At least in the US it is entirely possible to adopt a child before it is even born. One of my younger sisters was adopted in this fashion and my best friend and her husband did this as well when they determined that they could not have children biologically.

My sister was always just my sister (and she knew she was adopted from the time she was old enough to understand the concept) and my friends son was adopted via an open adoption process, which means they still maintain contact with his birth mother and her family (they go to visit them on a semi-regular basis). Despite that, he is considered fully and completely their son and pretty much wrapped his grandparents totally around his little finger about 30 sec after he was born

You can pass on your family traditions to an adopted child from the time they are born if you wish to go that route. You can continue your genetic line via surrogacy if you want to go that route. If you have the resources you could potentially have two children, one adopted, one via surrogacy. Ultimately, it all comes down to a matter of learning about the choices you have available and then deciding which ones work best for you and your situation.

The point of all this being that there is no reason to feel bad about being gay because of not being able to produce children. Ok, there's really no reason to feel bad about being gay for any reason, actually

Hope this helps,

Todd