so i pushed this girl away cause i liked her and didnt want her to find out, now she doesnt like me cause she thinks i was mean to her. but i want to tell her i did it cause i was getting a crush on her, but im scared on how she would react to a girl being gay for her, i dont want her telling everyone in our class, were not close anymore so i could see her making jokes with her friends about me
If you're not close anymore, then don't tell her at all. Sure she may think you're mean but you have to figure out what you'd rather want people knowing. She can either go around telling people you're mean, or she can go around telling people about your sexuality, and whichever one you'd prefer having people know determines what's best for you to do. If you don't want people knowing, then it's best you just don't tell her and let her think you're mean, because at least you know your reason and you don't really need to justify your reason to anybody.
its just i miss her she was like my best friend, and i dont know how to get her back as a friend with out telling her the truth, i am out to most people in my class but i dont want her to be a bitch and tell everyones i had a crush on her and then everyone saying things like "eww a lesbian has a crush on you, as if you can fancy your friend bet she looks at us all" my whole class contains girls.
Just think about if she's worth that much to you? If you can continue on without her, then just move on and hang out with different people, or people who will just take your mind off her. If you do tell her, you can avoid people talking about it by telling her in person, don't mention it on anything where she can easily screenshot it and show it to people, because if you say it in person, then technically there's no proof, and besides, whatever other people say is just their choice of words and if they start thinking that way, then they're not even people to be hanging out around anyways, and if she goes and tells other people then she's probably not a good person to hang around either.
