She likes me? And I like her! She's dating a guy.

So, back in eight grade or so, I started going into the whole questioning phase of things. Several times I would think something like "wow, my best friend is so pretty" or the like, but would brush it off, thinking that best friends are close, but certainly not that close!

Before ninth grade started, she got a boyfriend, and a few months after that, I got a boyfriend as well. The whole time I dated him, I would always think things like "I really want to be hanging out with my best friend, not my boyfriend. Why can't I kiss her instead of him?" Obviously, we broke up, but my best friend and her boyfriend did not.

Now, we're in eleventh grade, and she is still dating the same guy. She made a post on Whisper(has anyone else ever used that app? I think it's really quite cool. It's similar to post secret), saying something to the effect of "Do you feel the same way?"

I asked her who it was about, and she said it was about the girl she had a crush on. Now, I'm rather open with the whole liking girls thing, but she's never really been very open about lady-crushes. Eventually, I got her to admit it was either myself or our other best friend. I guessed it was our third friend based on the picture she had, and the whole time I said that, I was kind of dying inside and hoping it was not her at all, but actually me.

Finally, she said it was me. I felt so relieved at that moment, because I'm honestly not sure how I could have handled my best friend I crush on all of the time and try not to crush on so hard having a crush on our other friend. It kinda would have been terrible.

I admitted my crush on her, and it was pretty weird. We were both texting each other, because do to crazy schedules we hardly ever get to talk face to face, and we discovered that we both started crushing on each other around the same time, about two months before she started dating her boyfriend.

We both thought each other didn't like each other though, so we both pushed it aside and continued to be close best friends who went skinny dipping together and slept in the same bed and the like. Doesn't every pair of best friends do that?

But it's just all feeling so surreal, because here's the girl I love(as a friend and sort of sister and best friend and crush) feeling the exact same way about me. We're both stuck though, because it's just so strange. How do you push something like this under the rug? I mean, she's still dating and liking this guy, it's not like I expect her to break up with her boyfriend of a few years for me or anything crazy like that. They're quite a cute couple, and I'm so glad she's found someone who's so nice to her. I'm just really not sure where to go from here. Should we just pretend it never happened? Awkwardly bring it up every now and again? Kiss during a game of truth or dare and laugh about it afterwards? Pretend we both suddenly fell down the stairs and now have amnesia? Ask our other best friend to make some sense of the situation? I'm completely lost here.