There's this girl who's a friend of mine. We're in a different grade so we don't see each other much. When we do, she gets all excited and gives me a big hug. I know some might say she's just being nice, but she definitely likes me. It's gone on for months now and I don't know what to say to her. I can't tell her that I'm gay. I really don't want to hurt her feelings... What should I do? What should I say? This is really difficult. :help:
That's really sucks. And I don't think there's an universal advice to give here, unfortunately. Not being able to tell her you're gay makes it a bit difficult to handle, but definitely not impossible. I would probably try to keep a steady distance between the two of you. Not like turning your back on her, though. Just make sure as to not give her 'signals'. Sometimes merely being friendly can make people get the wrong idea. I was in a similar situation very recently. A girl was convinced we could be something more than friends. One night I was walking her home after a party. After we got to her place we started talking at the gate. She kept getting closer and closer to me for an obvious reason, but I knew that letting her make a move would be a bad idea, so I just took a step away from her. I could see the disappointment on her face. I kept thinking about what happened on my way home. I still see her every other day and we talk, but now I'm just more careful with my words and I think she's taken the hint. Just hang in there, mate. It'll eventually get to her that you're not interested.
@Joe I think the disappointment is the hardest part to deal with in that situation, but at least you got it over with! @stripe If she's very into you, then it will be difficult not to hurt her feelings. It would be best telling her in a roundabout way- maybe talking about a male celebrity crush, or whatnot- that you're not into girls, but that would require being prepared to come out of the closet. If you really don't want to do that, then act civil towards her. Be polite and nice, but don't treat her differently from your other friends. You can pretend you have a crush on someone else without ever specifying their gender, and describing them as having hair/eye colour different than hers. If she does finally make a move, do reassure her that she's not bad looking, after saying a polite no Girls like to hear that, and she will be less upset. Otherwise, repeating Joe's advice- hang in there. +(off topic, this, a random thought) Is your signature a quote from somewhere? reminds me of the Doctor!
Yeah, Mysz. I obviously didn't want to hurt her, but also didn't want to give her the actual reason why I'm not interested. We're still on good terms with each other though, so I guess it's all good.
