My boyfriend told me he was gay and I cannot believe it. I mean, I believe that he might be gay since he was talking about it the whole last year but I think he is bisexual and I hope he will realize it too. I am really sad and cant stop crying. The tears just falling on my face the whole day. I dont want to loose him and I feel like there is nothing I can do to make him straight. I know everyone will tell me that I will find another guy but I cannot imagine my life without him.
Just because he won't be your boyfriend, doesn't mean you will lose him. Odd enough, i was talking to a friend about a similar situation yesterday. The situation being a student of hers (she's a cosmetology teacher) was broken up with because her boyfriend realised he was gay. They were together for a year and a half. My friend called it being selfish. I disagree, I think it would have been selfish of her student to make her boyfriend stay in a relationship he'd be unhappy/uncomfortable in. I know it sucks, but you two can still be friends. Best friends even. No, you can't "make" him straight, but you can be his friend and that is what he will need most now. So keep your head up, and don't think of it as a loss, you still have him.
That's just weird... It sucks, right. The problem here is, while you might not be the right girl for him, he is the right guy for you. It would be easier to know that you both feel the same. It would even be easier if there was some stupid reason for breaking up. Not this which cannot be changed. Sorry I don't think there's such an advice that can make up for all the plans, emotions and everything. At least I can offer you a (*hug*) (though, when it comes to this emoticon, I always thought it should come in a non-smiling variant)
Its a bad situation, and its one I went through on the opposite end. I am still really close friends with my EX, we actually are roommates. She was really supportive of me when I came out and she was the person who I trusted the most during the whole process. There really isn't anything you can do to "make him straight" but you can support him and be there for him during a vulnerable time in his life.
Hi sweetie (*hug*), I'm truly sorry that you're going through this. I know it's incredibly painful, my best friend went through the same thing just a few years ago. I know you don't want your boyfriend to be gay. You're in love with him, he is a great man and you've been picturing your future with him. But the truth is, your boyfriend is gay. He wouldn't have told you about it if he wasn't sure about how he feels. For the posts of him I've been reading, he dislike it just as much as you do and the part he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you plays a huge part in this. But he knows he is gay and I am sure that, deep down, you know he is gay too. You have every right to be upset and sad and even angry and it's going to take you time to get over those feelings and to be able to move on. The good news is, you will (*hug*). I think that the best possible thing to do for yourself now is to find somebody to talk to. Would it be possible for you to talk to a therapist or a counselor ? You need to talk to someone who is going to help you accept what is happening to you and who is going to be able to listen to whatever emotions you need to express without judging you or your boyfriend for what is happening. Here are also two resources I think would help you : a PFLAG booklet for straight spouses (this had been very helpful to my best friend when her boyfriend came out, it helped her to make sense out of the emotional tsunami it was for her) and the straight spouses network website. It's a place where you'll be able to talk to other women and men going through the exact same situation you do. I hope it can help a little. Keep in mind you'll always be welcome on EC too and that you're very welcome to PM any advisors of the site you'd feel comfortable with, me included. I wish you all the courage in the world and send you many (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*). Take good care of yourself, Cécile
There's nothing I can really say here. Except that I'm sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine what you're going through.
