Just about every (girl)friend i've had begins to like me.

Throughout all my life I've mostly had girls as friends. I am Male and Gay. I really wish i had more guy friends but apparently girls are the only ones that can tolerate my weirdness. Or so my closer friends tell me. Alot of the girls i befriended the last couple of years have fallen in love with me. I've had about 8 or more girls fall in love with me and it was like. . . Why!? The worse part was telling them i was gay it was so awkward and things started to change and our friendship faded away. A few of them are still close friends and others are still friends but that i talk to maybe once a week. i didn't tell all of them i was gay, I'm still in the closet so i had to kind of hint that i didn't like them without being so straightforward and harsh.

Now this year. I met this girl on the school bus (I'm a sophomore They're 8th graders but mature and the girl i met was held back), She's really nice and we have a lot in common i comfort her when she's sad and i always make her laugh. She sometimes buy me cookies and gives me gum and she gets mad when people try to sit by me on the bus. . . Now let me tell you that this all took place in 2 weeks of barely knowing her. Her friend was asking us questions one day like "what if's" Mostly about marriage and sex and i really began feeling uncomfortable to the extreme. They would also whisper stuff and i immediately knew she liked me. I've seen this before many times. The next day she was crying and of course i comforted her and made her laugh and when we got off the bus she grabbed my cheeks and leaned in and i was panicking so i jerked my head left and she kissed my cheek. I played it off as a friendly thing and so did she. . .The next day she wasn't here again and i confessed to her friend that i didn't like her that way and only as friends and that the kiss was awkward.

The next day the girl that likes me sits next to me and tells me if i told her friend that the kiss on the cheek was awkward and i said no. Then she said "I'm gonna kick her ass telling me shit that hurts my feelings." (in my head: saying the kiss was awkward hurt your feelings?? Ohgawd i don't look forward to the day i have to reject you.) Before i started talking to these girls on the bus i listened to music all day and talked to no one. Everyone called me that loner kid. I really miss those days now. I really don't look forward to the day she confesses to me. I'm really tired of ruining friendships because of this and i really just wish i had more guy friends. I really don't know what to do. I just can't face her, i make excuses like my stomach hurts to sit in another seat and even then she tries to talk to me and peak over. Luckily I'm on spring break so i won't see her for a week. I guess the kind of advice I'm looking for is have you ever gone through this and what have you done? I'm really lost on what to do and i don't want to be in any more awkward situations like those. Sorry for this long long story.

 

Thank you so much. Guess you're right all i have to do is face it, it's gonna come so might as well get it over with. Also I'm very sorry about what happened I'd be devastated if someone planned to "De-Gay" me, But at least you guys are friends now!