My Mom asked why a bisexual person would be in a gay relationship

What if you fall in love with a woman?

 

It's a question that has always puzzled me. If they acknowledge sexuality is not a choice, then surely it is acknowledged that selectively deciding to only acknowledge part of your sexuality is to live a half life.

I never explain it very well when people ask this, it always ends up being a ramble on how I'd rather live my life openly and be with someone I love for who they are, than live my life avoiding part of who I am on the chance that if I end up with another woman society will not accept us. To deny one part of my sexuality is to deny the validity of my sexuality, and what is the point in that?

Thinking about it ... I guess I see their point. I could save myself a whole lot of explaining and puzzled looks by opting to actively live life as if I were strictly homo/heterosexual, rather than simply living.

 

Because you can't pick and choose who you're attracted to. And if you have the potential to find happiness with someone, gender is not a good reason to close yourself off to it.

 

I thought like this in middle school. Then I realized that when I have feelings for someone and really connect with them, I want to be with them regardless of what's socially acceptable. I would explain to your mom that it's about falling in love and you just want to be with someone who makes you happy. Tell her that you see yourself being happier in a relationship with a woman, so you can't ignore those feelings.

 

I explain by what if I fall in love with the same gender? We could be perfect for each other & if I don't open myself to that then I would be missing out on something.

 

This is one of the reasons I hate the "being gay is a choice" meme.

 

If I fall in love with a woman, I don't think her gender is any reason to reject her. I don't want to miss out on a great relationship because society may treat me better if I end up with someone else

 

Yup, when I came out (Or tried to) I told my mom I was bi to try to spare her feelings, she's 52, almost 53. She said that if you're bi you can choose to just be with a woman, she doesn't get how somebody can be attracted to both, she said pick one or the other. (Needless to say this experience was an epic fail) I went back in the closet and told her I was confused. Still in the closet, don't exactly plan on coming out to her any time soon.

 

I've actually wondered that same issue only with myself. Right now I've been asexual for over 10 years. All of my "traditional" male/female relationships have been a disaster. But looking back I've found that my gay relationships have been the most fun and comfortable. It's not to say that I am completely turned off to guys. I am not turned on by either...BUT I am now looking at the alternate female possibilities that I didn't know about 40 years ago. I don't relate with traditional stereotypical females or the traditional male/female relationship thing. Screw that. I can do pretty much anything a guy can (with the exception of heavy lifting or strength issues) and probably better.
What I do love is the Woody Allen quote that if you're bi you have twice as much chance of getting a date on Saturday night.
In general I feel like you do. I would find it bizarre if I was seriously attracted to anyone (except John BARROWMAN!!!)(Captain Jack/Doctor Who/Torchwood...Amazing pansexual character...LOL) but I am so much more attracted to women emotionally than men.