Did he overreact or was I really an @$$hole?

Hey, all:

I'm rather torn and confused at the moment, and was hoping that maybe y'all could give me some perspective/advice. Here it goes:

Background: I've been talking to this guy for the past 6 months. In the past 3 months, things have started to get a little more serious. Nothing crazy. We've been on two actual dates now, not just going as as friends and were planning on meeting up for the third one this week. We text every day, probably talk on the phone every other day. I really like this guy... a lot.

Issue: So, fast-forward to last night... we were talking on the phone. Interestingly enough, don't know why this thought popped into my head, but in the entire 6 months that I've known him, I've never heard him say my name. Not sure why I can remember stupid details like that, but such is my mind. Anywho, right as the convo was winding down, I asked him how I appeared in his cellphone. Then he told me and asked why. So I chuckled and said, "Oh, I just wanted to see if you knew my name or not." He got SUPER offended... I tried digging myself out of this hole, but it seemed that it was just getting worse and worse. I was tongue-tied and rather than just admitting that the reason I asked was because I wanted to hear him say my name, it somehow came out as "I just wanted to see if you knew my name or not." It was only towards the end that I realized that I misspoke. He even went as far as saying that we were probably over. He did say he would call me tomorrow night, but it sounded like a rather half-assed attempt to just get off the phone. Afterwards, I sent him an email apologizing and essentially admitting to him that I really liked him and I was just a little insecure. He's not the most expressive person, so I have a hard time reading him. I said this to him and he didn't take it well either. (This part I understand because it came off as me blaming him for my insecurity... when I realized that, I apologized because I wasn't trying to blame him for my insecurity and wanted to make it very clear that it was not his fault.)

Conclusion: Part of the reason, I think, that it was hard for me to just admit that I wanted to hear him say my name was because I didn't want to admit my insecurities to him... which I ended up doing anyways towards the end, but it was essentially too late. This sucks because I'm a super confident person overall...except when it comes to guys I really start to like. So did I sabotage this or did he just overreact? Would you have reacted the same way?

What do you guys think?

:bang:

 

I agree with you both about coming clean (being honest). Regardless of how it turns out, I'll just man-up and spill the beans (not all of them, obviously). I'm pretty sure he's ignoring me right now, since he hasn't sent me a text or anything. Should I just text him later tonight and ask if he's around to call? I do realize that my insecurity played a huge part and the question was rather rude, so I get being offended... but is that really enough to want to stop talking to someone, especially after 6 months?!

 

Thanks Dalmation... if I understand you correctly, if this is his only reason for cutting me off, then there are other underlying issues that I'm not privy to, is that what you're saying? You didn't come off as a smartass, no worries.

Thanks again!

---------- Post added 26th Mar 2013 at 09:33 AM ----------

Oh, and the only reason I ask if this is enough reason for him to stop talking to me is because we haven't had a disagreement until now. Ergo, I have no reason to suspect that he would even have any issues with me. Then again, the mind is a crazy place.

 

For whom it may concern:

So we talked yesterday and I basically spilled the beans about really liking him. I told him that I was just feeling a little insecure and the fact that I was admitting all these personal feelings (which I'm not the best at doing) didn't help matters, hence the crap that was spewing forth from my mouth and the tongue-twisting, etc. He totally understood and apologized for overreacting! His main reason for getting so heated was, aside from a shitty day at work, that the logic behind what I had initially said wasn't making sense and I was having a hard time explaining myself because I was so flustered. (He's a lawyer and very logical, I am not a lawyer and logic and reason are optional for me, at best.) Anywho, we laughed at how silly it was and conitnued to talk for another three hours... Crisis averted.

Thanks Budder and Dalmation. This forum and the people in it are simply amazing!

 

Thanks, Chip!

Just saw the video and it was extremely good... I like the TED talks, I'm surprised I never saw this one. I'm really interested in reading some of her other stuff now, too. Her approach to vulnerability made so much sense... it's crazy how it's so easy to see it as a negative, yet with the same effort (just a different pov, really), it can be a positive and produce so many beneficial results. I'm definitely going to try this approach.

Grazie!