bestfriend crushes

I came out to my friend nearly two years ago now (geez, time flies).

I told him that I had feelings for him a few months ago... November maybe?

I told him that because he ended up coming to me a few days prior with his own difficulties dealing with a crush of his. Before that point, he'd effectively seemed pretty asexual/aromantic. After that point, I realized he would understand what I meant if I were to tell him.

So I told him. He ended up taking it fine, though a lot of that is probably because he could really relate at that moment. No awkwardness, we're still really good friends (if not better). I even get to jokingly call him cute now.

I suppose you could call my experience a sort of "success story", but that's how it went.

If I had to suggest, think about the pros and cons about what you're going to say. Think about why you need to say it. Some questions worth weighing might include:

1) Is a potential relationship worth potentially losing my friendship?
2) Will telling them actually make me feel better/help me get over them?
3) Would it be possible for me to get over them without having to risk making things awkward?
4) Will this impact their life/their relationship?

 

I told my friend I had feelings for him and I knew he was absolutely straight. I even got to kiss him once (in the neck, but it resulted in a flood of emotions on my side). In the end, he was ok with it, but obviously not interested, which I never doubted. I ended up heartbroken, but for completely other reasons. Also, in the end I realized I was never attracted to him, but I had the deepest admiration I ever felt. A very, very powerful squish.

But, when it comes to his reaction, telling him I liked him changed nothing between us.


The thing with friends is: they are available. You already love them, in a friendly way, you are very close and you confide in each other. That results in a deep connection. During the questioning and coming out process, friends are often also the only people you can talk to. It's easy to put the pent up sexual energy and closeness of another guy together However, in my case it would have been a mistake, even if he was as interested.

 

I had a major crush on my best friend for almost 6 months. She'd mentioned that she might be bisexual once, so I had some hope. There were definitely signs, but I knew that she was a touchy feel person, so I thought that the attraction was probably only there from me. We would always spend time alone together and were very close. I really valued her as a friend. I finally decided to tell her about my feelings, but was absolutely terrified. I wrote her a letter right before she left for a week long trip. She wanted to meet up as soon as she got back, but didn't say how she felt about my letter yet. We met at a park and I was so nervous to hear her response. As soon as she got out of her car she ran up to me and gave me a really nice long hug, then took my hand and started walking. After we sat down by a pond, she finally said that she liked me too. It was so unbelievably amazing to her her say that. She was really glad that I had the guts to say something, because she never would've. She later asked if I'd be her girlfriend and, of course, I said yes. We haven't kissed yet, but she specifically said that she wants to go somewhere we can be alone the next time we hang out so...

 

just watched something with this theme.



and on the same thread. i've had crushes on friends, but it was fleeting. it just doesn't flourishing into anything more, and after some days, the feelings die down.

 

I've been through that a few times, and had my heart broken because they were straight. It's the worst feeling in the world knowing they will never be with you because of your gender.

 

I've never really had a best friend. I just have certain friends who are bit closer to me than others, but no one true best friend. Except my dog. And I love him, but I don't fancy him. Because he's a dog and not a bloke.

There was a guy I had a huge crush on and i didn't know what his orientation was, and didn't find out until very late that he was gay and just not interested in me. He wasn't even interested in just being mates with me, so I decided he was a cunt and not worth me wasting my affections on any more. But it also made me appreciate my friendships with straight men a lot more.

I don't feel "heartbroken" that I can't be with a straight man, because that's who they are. They accept me as I am and I accept them as they are, I don't waste my time fantasizing about what our relationship might be if they were gay, because there's no guaranty that a gay guy will fancy me, and a beautiful friendship is more important to me than sexual attraction.

 

I came out to my bestfriend but we are way apart now “different countries “ i moved away to the UK and we would still talk quite alot but not as much as we used to. Two years after i left i came out to her and she was surprisingly so fine with it given that most of the people in the country am from are homophobes. I was so happy but I decided to leave out the fact that i had a crush on her before since i now had a crush om someone else in my class so I thought I doesn’t even matter now. So when she asked me who i liked I told her it was someone in my class. Then the next day she texted me and said she was hurt when i said I liked someone else because she had feelings for me. And that’s when i told her i had feelings for her to but the timing was now way too bad. She was like she was single and I could ask her out but i was like am scared long distance relationships don’t work. The truth is I don’t have feelings for her anymore and I know really like this girl in my class. And am not really sure about my bestfriends’ sexuality because she didn’t exactly tell me so maybe she’s bi because the whole time i knew she only dated guys and talked about guys. Which kind of hurt me because i had feelings for her then but she would always say she loved me more and i thought she meant it as a sister which used to hurt me as well but now when i asked her she said she didn’t mean it as a sister. To be honest i wish could go back I would come out to her and ask her out. But at the same time I don’t because the feelings now died down. But I don’t know how to tell her that I don’t feel that way anymore.

 

I've had two best friend crushes in my time. It makes me feel old.

The first one was in freshman year high school. He let me understand clearly that I was bi. I kept my feelings for him hidden for two years. Never told him. It really ate up at me. Eventually I took my frustration out on him and I've regretted it ever since. We didn't talk again.

My second best friend crush was about a year ago. It was college spring term and I felt confident. I told him my feelings and, well, he wasn't gay. He said we can still be friends though. Ever since then I've adopted the philosophy that you should just tell them unless they're homophobic or something. Crushes usually take it as a compliment and gently let you down but it depends of course.

Just be confident in yourself. Don't let someone else define your happiness.