There's this girl in my sociology & psychology class called Emma. She's nice and everything but today she sent me a love note which said things like 'you're so pretty and nice. I love you xoxo' It was really weird. She always comments on how pretty and smart she thinks I am, she touches me quite often and she always sits next to me. Problem is, I'm not attracted to her. I know right - the first girl in ages to like me and I don't like her back!! She's just not my type. She's covered in piercings and her sense of humour is really gross and disgusting. She seems a bit disturbed in a way, but she is a nice person. Just not my type. How do I let her down gently??
She is a nice person. This is a good place to start. Be her friend. You never can tell where a friendship could go. She may be lonely so she acts out to gain some attention. There may be more to her than meets the eye. It needs not end in romance of sex. Hugs
I think if you can't be her friend you can't be her romantic partner! I'd just gently let her know (in person not through a note if I could) that she was a really nice girl, that I appreciated her bravery to express her feelings, but that I did not think of her that way. ~<3
Honestly, I think the best way to let people down is to do it in a rather direct way. By which I mean: by all means, let her know you feel honoured to be the object of such affection, and that you really do think she's nice to hang out with. But also be clear on how you don't think it'll ever work out as more than friends. Yeah, this will hurt her, initially, but it also makes sure she isn't hurt even more later on. In my experience, it is horribly easy to string people along if you aren't clear. Anything less than "this isn't going to work" can get taken as "there might still be a chance". Thereby only prolonging the pain and increasing the eventual disappointment So one more voice here for directness. Be friendly, but be decisive, and remember that the best way to remove a band-aid is to do it in one go.
