10 year age gap in a relationship

As an older gentleman who is undergoing that second adolescence, I say go for it!

As you both grow older, the age gap takes up less and less of a percent difference, in strict mathematical terms and a man in his thirties is really not very "old"!

What counts is that you dig each other, and that you care, respond, respect and will get to know him better over time, other than that, age is not a large consideration.

 

Try it.

Okay, so he's had a decade more of life than you have. But if you care for each other, then I don't see the harm in making an honest effort and seeing if it turns into something beautiful.

 

My mom is 10 years older than my dad and they've been together for 27 years!!!

So yeah go for it LoL

 

I don't have any relationsship experience, but I would go for it if I were you .

 

Don't worry! It's becoming common I think. Go for it

 

Age shouldn't matter, if you trust him and want to be together I'd go with your gut. Good Luck, were all rooting for you!

 

Age does not matter as long as both are consenting adults. Love is blind to age. I have always believed this. Now in my life it has been confirmed in a big way. There is no span of year that can stop love. 10, 20, 30, 40, and more. We have to follow the hearts of those who are in love. They will know if it is right or not. If He makes you feel good than by all means go with the flow (*hug*)(*hug*) and allow love to flourish. Hugs dear

 

I see no problem.

 

Unless you're a lot more mature than me, I'd say this could be a bad idea.

I'm 23, and I even feel like a kid compared to 28, much less 33.

 

Get to know each other further, experience life together, and you'll see how things develop. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh?

If the two of you seem to be compatible then the only way to know if this is something that can work in the long-term is to go for it. Your gut says go for it, and to be honest your worries are similar to many who worry they cannot provide what they believe the person they like wants. Do not let worries put you off from investigating a line of feelings if you believe that person is worth it.


I'd offer a personal perspective, but as I'm a lot more closed to the idea of large age gaps than many it would be completely biased.

 

Well, normally I'm in the "be cautious with age gaps" camp.
The guy is, after all, 50% older than you. Sure, when he'll be 100, you'll be 90, but that's of remarkably little use for the next 70 years of your life

However... the fact that you're making an effort to go into this with both eyes open and aware of the pitfalls is a pretty good sign. So I think that with that attitude, it might be worth proceeding.

Maybe the best question you can ask yourself right now is how you connect on non-gay stuff. Yeah, right now you have a lot in common when coming to terms with being gay and coming out. And it's pretty normal for gay guys to latch on to the first other gay guy(s) they meet.
But when not discussing that, do you see matching interests? Do you like the same things when hanging out? Do you have matching interests in movies or books? do you see yourselves agreeing on where to go for a holiday or what to eat?

Also, what of differing life stages? Do you often find yourselves totally talking past each other when it comes about day-to-day stuff like work or school, or do you feel like there's genuine conversation going on when that comes up?

Last but not least: how dependant do you feel you'd be on him if this proceeds? One of the main pitfalls of age differences tends to be that one partner totally yields to the other in all things (sometimes pressured by claims of superior experience), or worse, is totally dependant on the other for money, living space, or other basic necessities. So to what extent do you feel equal? If you really don't agree with something, would you be able to pull your weight?


Okay, that's quite a checklist. And obviously I'm not demanding it all matches completely perfectly. This isn't about dating your own clone. But... all of the above are, IMO, good questions to ponder in case of age gaps, or, indeed, in any relationship.

Anyhows, just my two cents. By all means, we're here to bounce more ideas off, however this goes!

 

I once had a fling with a guy 10 years my senior and it was fantastic. I usually forgot that there was that much of an age gap between us because we clicked so well and had very similar interests. Though I, like you fearofthefuture, have always been told I am mature for my age as well. It seems to me that certain personalities and maturity levels can handle relationships with large age differences better than others. But really, at the end of the day I think the old adage "Age is just a number" is absolutely true.

In summary, GO FOR IT!

 

My boyfriend had a relationship with someone little more than twice his age and he was only 16 when they met...It lasted 3 years and they even got engaged.
The relationship did NOT end because of the age thing.

One falls for a PERSON. Age is just a calender thing.
Go for it.
Maybe it lasts weeks, maybe months, maybe years, maybe lifelong. Depends on how things develop. Relationships go to phases, no matter what. It's up to you how you deal with them.
Same age doesn't guarantee you'll be happy together forever.

Why shouldn't you enjoy it while it lasts? Just because some people say this or that MIGHT come in the way?
Every relationship is unique.
You might just have something sexual with him and not get too involved. Whatever.
It is YOUR life. YOUR choice with who you want to be.

 

Go for it!

Age shouldn't matter in any relationship, if you love him and, like Filip said, can have a normal life with him, then there's nothing to worry about!

 

Go for it! You'll know if it works soon enough if you don't already. In your own words, "it feels natural and right". Age is nothing.

I'm 37, my GF is 50. We met 7 years ago when the age gap was a bit more noticable (she hasn't aged a bit, I am a wizen old hag now) but for us it was right and still is.

The fact she acts 10 years younger than she is and I act 10 years old than I am helped maybe. When I was looking for a present for my niece last month she was the one trying out the kids scooters around the toy shop while I was on the phone trying to sort out having our gutters cleaned.