1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I can't handle life anymore

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jayboy999, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. Jayboy999

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    So one year ago I became best of friends with this guy. We are both "straight" I though I had a chance with him but I never told him anything. We have been through so much together. Then my family life got horrible because my dad had a stroke and alot of other issues came about. Around this time I developed this obsession over him. Like I started to fall in love. By the way I'm 16. He controls my mood indirectly and I am crazy over him. I started to fight him and and get mad when he wouldn't want to hangout cuz I wanted his attention. He warned me that he wouldn't put up with it forever. I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. Till the last few weeks he told me that we are no longer best friends, that he need distance, and maybe we will one day get close again. He hurt me alot on text after saying so much mean stuff. But basically this is where I'm at.... He has had enough with my clinginess, he said he will still listen to my problems and be my friend but not bestfriend. And he is annoyed and pissed at me. I tried and literally begged for his forgiveness. But he put up with it for so long and warned me. He said give him distance and that we are still friends and will hangout together in our big group. Our fight last night hurt me so much I threw up. I have a headache and I miss my best friend. How do I get him back? Will he ever forgive me? And my biggest question is I can't be miserable like this I just can't it hurts too much thinking about old times. How do I suck it up and give him space. He said the more I fight it the more ill push him away. He said I annoy him and piss him off alot. We spent literally all last summer through February being best friends. We also share the same group of friends. Seeing him makes me sad cuz I know it's not the same. Please help :icon_sad:
     
  2. LD579

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    It sounds like he's had enough of your behaviour. It's good you're also aware of it, it seems, because that's how things will be solved.

    You have to give him some space. He maybe shouldn't have said those mean things to you, but perhaps it was a necessary step that he personally had to take. I'm sure he'll cool down if he realizes that you'll listen to him.

    It sounds like you've depended on him a lot, intentionally or not. All relationships with people should be give-and-take, especially friendships and romantic relationships (things that we form of our own accord). He's telling you to give him space, and if you comply, you're showing him that you value what he has to say, and that you also value your relationship.

    Getting physically ill from this isn't good, objectively speaking. It's your body's way of reacting to severe stress, I suppose. I suggest getting some rest, and trying not to be inside your head too much. Listening to music (don't make a playlist full of sad songs! Trust me on this. A nice mix of happy and mellow should do fine) may also help you, as well as going for walks and just trying to be in the moment.

    Focusing a bit more on school work might be helpful to you, too, but don't spend an excessively inordinate amount of time on it.

    Is there anything you can think of, like a hobby, or something you've wanted to try, that could help to pass some time? As he cools down, and you do as well, trying something new could be a nice change, and it'll also pass the time.

    Finally, it seems that this all happened because you've been solely confiding / relying on him. Perhaps he's going through some tough times as well, either with his own issues, or because of the stress that he's had from having to support you. I suggest that in the future you try to be more attuned to these kinds of things. It may be that he just wanted a break, and wanted to hang out without feeling the need to comfort you if things took a turn for the worse. You can still rely on him... But let him know that he can rely on you too, and try to show it, as well.