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what should i do, or say to him?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kingzap321, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. kingzap321

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    well to start i am a single guy who really wants to have a gay relationship. in school i met this guy who i find very attractive and nice. now im not out yet so i have no idea if he thinks im gay or not. he aprotched me and started talking to me. now we have started texting and hanging out at school a bit and im just really unsure if he is gay or not. the thing is that he came to Canada from a different country and so he doesn't have many friends here. i cant tell if he is trying to just make friends or if he likes me. anyway so today he had texted me and asked if i wanted to hang out with him at lunch witch i totally would have but i was on a different lunch time then he was so i explained that to him. now our school had a field trip today to go see a hockey game so i asked him if he wanted to sit with me and he said sure. once we got there i went and got seated. now i sat down and then he sat down one seat over from me. not that left a gap between us. that kinda bummed me out but i shrugged it off. when we got on the buss to go back to the school we sat together and our legs were touching witch was quite noticeable to me and im sure to him. there was enough room for us not to be touching but we were. that made me happy. but all together i cant tell if he is gay or not or am i just really seeing what i want to see, and in fact there is really nothing there? please help idk what to say to him or if i should tell him im gay or should i wait or what. =] and advice would be useful thanks.
     
  2. LD579

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    There's likely not enough information for yourself, and definitely for someone like me, who's just hearing this from you, to guess if he likes you or not.

    In that light, I'd assume he's straight. It's not exactly fair, but the chances are that he's straight.

    I wouldn't come out to him right away. If I were you, I'd try to breach the subject first. Maybe bringing up some sort of LGBT topic, or character (Barney Stinson might be a good one [the actor's gay, but the character is like girl-obsessed, or so I believe]), and seeing how he reacts.

    You might want to go further from there. You could always use the 'I have a friend' line, like so: "I brought this up because a friend just came out to me. What would you say to him/her?"

    And then from there, it could be your call on whether you think he's fine with gay people and all.

    Everything's up to you, though. Use your judgement, and try not to get infatuated with this guy until you see where he stands with LGBT issues. Having a crush on a friend can be difficult to get over for both people involved, but at the very least, friendships can still be maintained. I'm sure you'd rather have him as a friend than scare him off, so for now, try not to over-think things, and just take things at what they seem on surface value.
     
  3. kingzap321

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    well i know i have no info to go off of but i dont think he is opposed to lgbt stuff, but i think im going to have to just wait it out for abit see where things go or what he does or says. =] but thanks for the advice. im still open to hear other advice =]
     
  4. That Kid

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    I say just keep being good friends with him and get to know him personally. If he's gay and feels comfortable HE might just come out to YOU :slight_smile:

    Good Luck!
     
  5. kingzap321

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    the thing is, we are not good friends we hardly know each other, and to be honest iv never been aprotched by someone, noone has ever really thought, "hmmm he seems like a nice guy so i should go talk to him and try and be friends with him". its always been the other way around where i went and talked to people.
     
  6. sexyalex

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    Dear Kingzap321,

    Hi, my name is Alex. And as a former international student who attended tertiary education in Canada (Queens University), I can tell you straight up that there is no need for animosity.

    He is an alien in a liberal country where gays seem to be highly favoured (atleast, so it seemed to me in the 4 years I was there. Versus how they treat homosexuals in Jamaica where i am from) and the least he can do is give you his honest opinion on the subject matter whether directly or indirectly.

    Now, I'm not saying to go let him know you have a huge balso crush on him. No. But it would feel a lot better to not leave things so ambiguous. You are 17, so I am assuming you are in your last year of high school. And if that is so, you have all the amo you need.
    Summer holidays is upon us and you will all be going off to college/university where sexuality doesn't even matter, you will meet way more people like yourself (out the closet), make new friends, and if you're as lucky as I am, maybe even have a lecture or two hit on you. *shrugs* just saying...
    So if you wish to take a chance and get it off your chest, now is the time to just let your new friend know you are gay and you're just curious if he is comfortable with that. Simple.
    I remember someone had a post earlier about being in the closet and seeing his straight friends naked, sleeping in the same bed, etc. and the momentum has built up so pretentiously that he is now scared to let them know he is gay as it may, the past events may come back to bite him in the ass....don't let that be you.

    You seem to be a nice kid, with a big heart.

    That's my advice.
    Gay, straight or taken. It doesn't matter. What's important is his head space. Once that's out the way EVERYTHING that's suppose to happen, will happen. And that includes he being a prospective summer love. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. kingzap321

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    thanks i think i will ask him his view on gay relationships or bring it up some how. but this is my second last year in high school so i mean iv got to finish this year then iv got 1 more. but thanks for the motivation =]. its funny that you brought up the seeing your friends naked thing cuz iv seen so many of my peers nude because we have showers at our school for after gym classes. but fortunately not him. oh and he is from Brazil. and once again thanks fro the advice and motivation =]

    ---------- Post added 27th Mar 2013 at 09:15 PM ----------

    well i turns out he is not gay but he is ok with gay people =]. i asked him what his views were on gay relationships he said as long as they are not with me im fine with it. i thought that wasn't a bad answer lol. i just told him i wanted to know if he was cool with it cuz my mom is a lesbian.(btw that is true, got 2 mothas =]) anyway thanks for the advise guys and i still think we will be able to be friends cuz he doesn't know i have a crush on him, but the crush will probably go away since i know he is not gay now.