Torn between my girlfriend & my family

Hi,

My name is Lauren

I've been meaning to make this thread for a while but I wasn't quite sure what to say at first, so I waited a while. I'd like to share my situation and get some input from you guys on what you think I should do. I'd like to do another post at some point to share my full story, but for now I'm just going to focus on the present moment.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and have known each other for three years. We are in a long distance relationship, her in the US and me in Canada. We don't see each other very often because of the logistics and costs of travel but we text every day and Skype as often as possible. Our relationship is rock solid. Neither of us have ever felt this way about anyone else. We have talked a lot about getting married. We fantasize about rings and picking our dresses, possible locations, etc. I have found the love of my life and she hers. There's just one problem....my family hate her.

They met her for the first time in 2011. My parents and younger sisters were living in the States at the time and I was down visiting them over Christmas holidays. My girlfriend was living just a couple of hours away at that point so she came to stay for a couple of days so that we could celebrate New Years together. From the second she walked in the door of my parent's house, she was nothing but absolutely charming. She's a very outgoing person and within ten minutes was talking to my parents like they were old friends. I should probably mention at this point that I was only out to my mum then. In fact, I still have yet to come out to my dad (but that's an entire thread of its own). Anyway, I could tell they were just being civil for the sake of being civil.

My girl and I had a fantastic couple of days together before she had to leave, but as soon as she left my dad said to me "Boy, she has a lot of tattoos, doesn't she?!" My dad loathes tattoos. He makes no bones about the fact he thinks they're trashy. So, he basically told me that he wasn't comfortable with me hanging around with "friends" like that. If only he knew how much more than a friend she was lol. In my mum's case, it's not so much the tattoos by themselves but my girlfriend's image in general that she doesn't approve of. She calls her fat and says she doesn't know how to dress properly for her body. It makes me SO angry. My mother and I get into arguments constantly over this. She doesn't think my girlfriend is worthy of me and that our relationship is not legit because it's long distance..and because my girlfriend isn't a man :eusa_doh:

It's funny, my mum has never had anything against LGBT people. Both of my parents are very open-minded, kind people. It seems that ours is a situation of "Gay is okay until it's my own kid." I can understand how parents can feel devastated when their child comes out to them. I just don't understand why my mum can't treat me the same way that she'd treat any other LGBT person. I know she just wants the best for me and I love her so much for that, but this is my life.

I love my parents with all my heart and I also love my girlfriend with all my heart. I feel that it might eventually come down to me having to choose one over the other, which is impossible. Like, how can you do that? Talk about breaking your heart in two. I'm just really conflicted. I can't lose my family but if I lose my girl, I don't think I'd ever be the same person again.

What should I do?

 

Awww, thank you so much!! (*hug*)
You just made my night I think you're right, I should definitely try and get my mum to understand how I really feel and how important a relationship it is for me. At the end of the day, all I want is for my family to be happy that I'm happy. I'm determined to make this whole thing work!