Hello. I don't know how to start discussing my problems cause i'm not good at explaining.But i hope you can understand and help me.Please bear with my english. 1) I'm a closet "unstraight" and in denial stage.i am not yet ready to label myself rn. 2) My family don't know about it. 3) I "think" because of that reason, i am insecured and my self-confidence is very low. 4) Because of my insecurities i lock myself inside our house.i'm not really an anti-social or something, i have friends outside our town.school friends. it's just that around our area,i always feel like being judged. I don't want anyone to know that i'm "unstraight" 5) I'm having these types of feelings when i go outside:feeling that they're talking behind my back eventhought i know they're not. and i keep worrying about little things. "what if my butt looks not so straight", "what if the way i walk is not so straight", "what if the way i dress doesn't look straight."..and a lot of what ifs. 6) I hate the fact that "majority" of the people in my area are ignorant about these kind of issues. I heard my grandma once said that "those kind of people are pretending, so that they will be free, and they won't have the burden to create and carry their own family".. and so many assumptions. I am having these feelings ever since i was 12 our younger? i'm not really sure. and i'm 18 now. I just wanna live a normal life, eventhough i know it's not possible because i'm different. I know i'm not alone, but please give me some advice? how do i start? what should i do?
well man to start i just want to say what your grandma said made me laugh because that is so not true =D. and as for things you should do to help your self feel less insecure i recommend you start out small. by that i mean you should try and force your self to go to social locations and what not but only for a little while. for example. maybe call up a friend or 2 and go out to the movies, then go home. while at the movies or what ever try and keep your self distracted from and feelings that you think people are judging you or watching you. so do small things so that you will later feel more comfortable going out for extended periods of time. so that's my advice i truely cant say if it will work but i think its worth a shot =] all the best of luck to you man Luke.
For the start, welcome to EC Here, it's super easy to understand that not only are you not alone, but you also have people who understand you ready to help you. So, use that and post away on this site. That alone will help you a lot. What your grandma said somewhat amuses me, because I never heard someone say that. It's an interesting twist, wrong as it is though, but a twist towards somehow not as malicious.. sorry if I'm belittling what offended you when she said it. I don't mean it in a bad way. You say you are out to your best friends. What does "being out" mean for someone who thinks he's "unstraight"?
i am out to my bestfriends actually theres three of them. i told them that i am "sexually-confused" so i think they got the idea of it. well i'll try what you're suggesting. i'll be with my friends more and go outside our area. Whenever i'm ready to face what i really am, i will post it, anyways thanks for your responses.
Ok, the first thing I think you need to do is stop worrying about how other people see you. You shouldn't worry about what people think of the way you walk or dress. And, trust me, the majority of them don't care. And what your grandma said... Wow. 0_0 She is really something.
