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In Desperate Need of Advice-- where to go from here with this girl?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dalicatz, Mar 30, 2013.

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  1. dalicatz

    dalicatz
    Regular Member

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    Sorry if this is long, but I'm desperate for advice. There is a girl I have had some sort of feelings for for a few months. We're both out to each other, though not to the school. We have been gradually becoming better friends. We both had some highly unsuccessful relationships with guys in the past, but neither of us has dated a girl before. Anywho, I don't know if she likes me. I'm confused as to whether I LIKE her or I just want to be friends, and a lot of that depends on whether she is interested in dating me. The problem is, we're both kind of shy and kind of unapproachable, so our communication is weird and inconsistent. We've stayed up all night texting before, and she made me a mix tape, and we've had a few long conversations together, we hung out in a group a few times, but sometimes she just completely ignores me in school and stuff, and we have somewhat overlapping but somewhat different friend groups, so sometimes it is hard for me to approach her without interrupting something and vice versa. I have a tendency to overanalyze things, which doesn't help at all. She's made some very vague posts on her twitter (which I *ahem* stalk, even though I don't have a twitter, so she doesn't know I'm seeing what she posts) along the lines of she's worried she's isolating people who she "really, really likes" because she's bad at interacting with people. I want to believe this is referring to me-- and the timing has made sense every time, but I don't know if I'm just being optimistic. In our conversations, she's always asking me questions about myself. She seems really attentive to little details whenever we're interacting, but I might just be overanalyzing/ making something of nothing. Recently, she tweeted something about how she should probably learn to move on, because, in her words "I've ****** up any chance I had". I don't know if this is about me at all or if it's even about liking someone, but if it is I want to let her know that I am totally open to the possibility of a relationship, and she shouldn't move on. But if it isn't I don't want to freak her out and ruin the possible friendship we have. I'm not very brave when it comes to social/ romantic stuff and I'm afraid of taking chances, plus I'm generally inexperienced with this stuff-- in my past relationships, guys did all the work and I wasn't happy anyways. What do you guys think I should do at this point?
    Oh, and thanks for reading through that. I'm really stuck here and any advice would be much appreciated. I'll throw in a dancing banana for good measure: (!)
     
    #1 dalicatz, Mar 30, 2013
  2. TheFlamesOfHell

    TheFlamesOfHell Guest

    Really, the only thing you can do is talk to her. Maybe drop subtle hints in texts or request to meet up alone a few times. I really don't know what else to suggest because this seems like a bit of a complex situation.

    With the tweets, I am an avid twitter user and I admit I've tweeted things about other people along them lines. So she could be talking about you, especially if the timing is right.

    Either way, I think you should speak to her about it. It's really the only way of truly finding things out.
     
    #2 TheFlamesOfHell, Mar 30, 2013
  3. birdy

    birdy
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    Try to communicate more because that be really important if you want to maintain any sort of relationship with her. Maybe text her and ask her to do something outside of school together (if you're both closeted, then school might be an uncomfortable place, especially for flirting) Just hang out as friends outside of school to see if you think having a romantic relationship with her would be a good thing and if she might like you. At some point, one of you is just going to have to be brave and say your feelings if anything is ever going to happen.
     
    #3 birdy, Mar 30, 2013
  4. dalicatz

    dalicatz
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    I guess I just need to suck it up and be kind of brave if I want things to have a chance of going anywhere. Thanks so much!!
     
    #4 dalicatz, Mar 30, 2013
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