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Finally Letting Go of a Past Relationship...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by pinklov3ly, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. pinklov3ly

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    So, I had a revelation the other day; I'm finally over my kids father!!! However, I still love him, but my desire to hang onto my lack of heterosexuality has diminished dramatically. I no longer feel the need to pretend to be someone I'm not. However, this journey is very bittersweet because we're not even on speaking terms and the relationship that his has with our boys is non existent. And that hurts me more than anything :frowning2:

    I mean, my boys are well adjusted, but they're at that age where they want to be defiant. I'm the one going to Parent Teacher Conferences'. I pick them up from school whenever there's an ER. I'm not complaining, but I've thought about moving due to lack of work in MI. I know that he's in a bad place mentally because he loss his brother recently, but he's abandoned his duties as a father. I was there for him during that time. And now, I'm ready to move on and provide for our children without him. It seems like he's punishing the kids because of me when they're not responsible for anything. He knew that I was struggling with my sexuality from day one, when I was 18/19. We tried to make it work, but his homophobic views are sickening.

    It does make me sad, but there's nothing I can do at the moment. I really do not think he was ready to be a father. Am I overreacting? This is more of a vent than anything because the person I used to vent to has been unavailable :frowning2:

    I've decided to reach out to him so we can decide on co-parenting without going to court. Good idea, or bad idea? Any advice is greatly appreciated...thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #1 pinklov3ly, Apr 1, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2013
  2. Gravity

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    This sounds like the heart of it to me - a great realization! Congrats.

    I don't think you're overreacting. It's natural to be sad that he's not able to be involved in their lives, but you said it - there's nothing you can do about it.

    If you feel like reaching out to talk about co-parenting just between the two of you is a good idea, then go for it. Anything you can settle out of court is a good thing - but don't feel hesitant to go that route if you think it would be better.
     
  3. pinklov3ly

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    Thank you so much for responding. I've been waiting for advice/support lol. I haven't been able to get in touch with him, which sucks. However, I'm thinking about moving in with a friend to commute back and forth to work. I'd hate to leave my boys, but I'm not sure what else to do. I've decided to ask my kids Nana and my Mom to spilt the time between them to take care of them while I'm out of town working.

    I just feel like it isn't fair to them, but I'm not sure. I feel like a terrible mother :frowning2: