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Coming Out to Friends (Sorry Its Long)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by HermionieCullen, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. HermionieCullen

    HermionieCullen
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    I am not quite up to coming out to my extended friend group yet (Am coming out to my very close bisexual friend first) but I am trying to plan ahead because although I don't want to rush this I am dying to be out of the closet so I can be totally open with my friends. (Family is a COMPLEATLY different story).

    So I am not overly worried with coming out to my friends because they are mostly accepting and mature people but there is one aspect of my coming out to them that I am a bit nervous about. I have known most of my friends for about three or four years and ( Unfortunatley) through that time the topic of guys and crushes has obviously come up. My friends were always badgering me to know who I liked and because I was trying to come to terms with my sexuality at that point I decided to take the easy way out. I told them I had a crush on this guy in our grade just to get them off my back and stop them asking questions about guys that honestly just made me as uncomfortable as hell but I am now regretting it. I am scared that they will be angry at me for lying to them because they all told me their crushes and I was dishonest with them. At the time I was honenstly not in the right headspace as I was questioning my sexuality and I did not think it through very well. I am just scared that they will feel betrayed or something even though I really didn't mean for it to be like that.

    I could be way over-reacting (I have been known to do that a lot) but I just need a little insight into the situation.

    Thank you sooooooo much to anyone who read my very lonng message :slight_smile:
     
    #1 HermionieCullen, Apr 1, 2013
  2. TheFlamesOfHell

    TheFlamesOfHell Guest

    If they do question it just say what you've put on here. If they're as accepting as you say, they will listen to you. I'm sure they won't even remember your supposed crush, however. Unless they regularly bring it up.
     
    #2 TheFlamesOfHell, Apr 1, 2013
  3. HermionieCullen

    HermionieCullen
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    Yeah they sometimes bring it up but I am hoping that they won't mind. Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:
     
    #3 HermionieCullen, Apr 2, 2013
  4. TheFlamesOfHell

    TheFlamesOfHell Guest

    No problem. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 TheFlamesOfHell, Apr 2, 2013
  5. HasteTBomb

    HasteTBomb Guest

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    Gay
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    A few people
    I advice just telling them how you feel, and how they made you feel. Tell them not to be guilty or feel it. You have been under a lot of pressure from your peers, and they'll understand you completely(*hug*)
     
    #5 HasteTBomb, Apr 2, 2013
  6. HermionieCullen

    HermionieCullen
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    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #6 HermionieCullen, Apr 3, 2013
  7. Tokgay

    Tokgay
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    I am actually in a similar situation! I tried dating a good female friend of mine not so long ago. I also told everyone I know about this. However, I think I've just been lying to myself and my friends becuase I never really felt anything for her except for friendship.

    When you finally tell your friends you are gay, they will be happy for you if they are good friends, and they will understand why said what you said!

    Just think about it this way; what do you say when your (girl)friends ask you what you think of a particular guy? You probably always say, he's hot or he's cute etc. right? At least, that is what I do when my male friends ask me about girls. That just happens, and when you come out they will understand that it was all just part of not being ready, and the lie you've had to live because you were unsure!

    Don't worry about it too much. If you come out, that is not their moment, they won't judge you for other stuff. :wink:
     
    #7 Tokgay, Apr 3, 2013
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