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He Must Be Gay...?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by clarkec1, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    I simply want your opinion of whether or not, given these things, this boy could be gay. I know they are stereotypical, but here goes:

    - Stands gay (legs closed together (awkward))
    - Walks/Runs gay
    - Plays Gay
    - Acts gay
    - Checks out other guys
    - Enjoys touching his friends (awkward)
    - He was sitting on the floor once and his friend started making that movement that means sex (awkward), you know what I mean. In, out... I think you get it...
    - Laughs at everything
    - Only has male friends
    - Never seen him with girls
    - Friends seem gay (they scream, talk gay)

    OK I know they are stereotypical, but here are some reasons why he is not gay:

    - Enjoys sport (football and volleyball that I know of)
    - Deep voice
    - Denies being gay (I didn't ask him, someone I know did (ad he is gay too, but I mean a full-on stereotypical gay))

    I know that I wrote many many more for him being gay that not, but that is not because I just want a good response on here, I actually can't think of any more signs for him not being gay.

    Please so not reply anything like "I don't know, I'd have to meet him first", please just give your judgement based on the information I have provided.

    Sorry for the length, thanks everyone in advance!!! :help::thumbsup::slight_smile:
     
  2. falsereading

    falsereading Guest

    I have a deep voice and have in the past denied being gay, they mean nothing.

    Sounding harsh but what would it change? Do you intend on making a move on him? If not leave him to it, if he is he will say so when he is good and ready.
     
  3. lman

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    Having a deep voice and enjoying sports doesn't make you "straight". There are gay people that like sports and have denied being gay.
     
  4. FruitFly

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    - Stands gay (legs closed together (awkward))
    - Walks/Runs gay
    - Plays Gay
    - Acts gay
    - Checks out other guys
    - Enjoys touching his friends (awkward)
    - He was sitting on the floor once and his friend started making that movement that means sex (awkward), you know what I mean. In, out... I think you get it...
    - Laughs at everything
    - Only has male friends
    - Never seen him with girls
    - Friends seem gay (they scream, talk gay)

    As the majority of these are based off of your perceptions, I do not consider these to be wildfire signs of someone being gay. Even if I were to see him and interpret these behaviours as you have I would not say "that's it, he must be gay!", mostly because men who act in a stereotypically gay fashion who are not gay are not exactly uncommon.

    I'm going to ignore the "not gay" reasons, as he has said he is not gay.



    What are your interests in this other boy and why is it so important to guess his sexuality when someone has already asked and he has denied it?
     
  5. FunnyMonkey

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    The fact that you said he "Checks out other guys" I'm going to say yes he could be or bi/pan. But seeing how someone already ask him if he is, it's one of two thing he is not or he is not ready to come out yet.
     
  6. Winfield

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    dude, when i was your age and in school and if i was to see a guy who had those traits he's gay in my books... (i was always bang on too)

    if a guy is too fem to me personally he's gay
     
  7. Femmeme

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    He's 11 though right? Those posture and stance traits you're trying to read change a lot and rapidly around that age, it really isn't reliable. Heck, there's a good chance he hasn't even figured it out yet.
     
  8. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    What do you think I should do now? Should I leave it a bit? Should I forget about all of it? Should I become his friend? Should I ask him if he is gay? Should I ask him out? Should I tell him how I feel?

    Or should I tell his sister??? She might take it well?

    I just have to tell him soon!
     
  9. falsereading

    falsereading Guest

    My opinion; Put it to the back of your mind, if he is gay he will tell you when he wants to. Personally when people have asked me if I was gay in the past it just caused me to clam up (still does) and want the world to swallow me up. Imagine going through some what could be the most difficult time of your life (sexuality struggle) and having people ask you all the time, I know it would not help me.

    Do not speak to his sister, if you spoke to my sister behind my back not sure I'd talk to you again, bad move that one.

    Be a friend by all means but wait for him to say I'm gay/I like you etc before you go and lay it on saying you fancy him, if he is struggling a good friend is irreplaceable.
     
  10. FruitFly

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    If this boy is 11 then I'd strongly recommend leaving it as he has a lot of growing to do. You seem very sure of your feelings, and he has already said he is not gay. If he, as an 11 year old, has already had someone ask him, and he has already said he is not gay, then I, as an adult who works with 11-16 year olds, would tell you to leave him alone in regards to his sexuality and let him develop as he is going to develop.

    If you want to become his friend, only do so if you are going to be able to drop the fact you want to know his sexuality due to your feelings. You may well tell him, but I would strongly listen to the fact that he is 11 and has already said he is not gay to someone. He may be, he may be a lot of things, but I do not think it is healthy to push the subject when it is obvious that you would rather he was gay due to feelings you hold for him.

    I'm not even sure how to approach this as I know I'd probably be telling you, in my slightly more professional capacity, to relax and stop trying to read so much into his behaviour given his age and the fact you barely know him. By all means be a friend, but try not to confuse being a genuine friend and being a friend in the hopes you'll get somewhere romantically with him. Get to know him, be nice, be open about your own sexuality, and as your friendship progresses then do as you feel is right in regards to telling him how you feel.

    As it stands you know very little about him, do not appear to know him personally, and that is enough of a barrier for me to not recommend you tell him, or his sister, that you have feelings for him at this time. Whatever you do, given how frequently you've posted questions about this boy, I would say back off when it comes to trying to pinpoint his sexuality given the fact you have feelings for this boy and when we have feelings we read what we want to read into a lot of things.
     
  11. DannyBoi66

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    I think he might be gay, not 100% gay. I think this because you say he doesn't have any female friends. I am the only guy in my entire year/grade that has got some. I am also the only guy that doesn't make fun of girls. I am (assumingly) the only gay guy in my year/grade.

    So yeah... Maybe. On the kinsey scale, maybe a 4. If he is gay, he probably hasn't realised it yet.
    He sounds like my (definetaly) straight friend minus the girls part
    Hope this helped. :thumbsup:

    Actually, this guy is like me also in some places! I laugh at absolutely EVERYTHING.
     
    #11 DannyBoi66, Apr 5, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2013
  12. FunnyMonkey

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    Well first even if he is not gay, you can never have to many friends, so yes try and become friends.

    Have you told him about yourself being BI? if not then maybe tell him know you are and see what he says to you? don't ask him if he is gay if he is not gay/bi/pan he could get get upset about it or if he is and not wanting to come out it could also. Just become friends with him maybe say something like I know people have asked you if you are gay before and you said no, but if you are I'm okay with it. or something like that just an idea .
     
  13. It is extremely rare that somebody knows their orientation when they are 11 or 12. I thought I was gay in year 7 but obviously I had to think and soul search to finally figure out that I am bisexual and that's only been this year. Don't confuse his head if you can help it. He's only young, after all. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  14. UndercoverGypsy

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    He's gay.
     
  15. LD579

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    I wholeheartedly don't recommend jumping to conclusions so rashly. It's possible he's just comparing himself to other guys, as many teens and pre-teens are wont to doing.
     
  16. Ticklish Fish

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    bold words are my comment toward your post, yeah.
     
  17. UndercoverGypsy

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    I guess... Checking out guys on a regular basis, though? Seems pretty gay.