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I'm so confused! ._.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BudderMC, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. BudderMC

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    Argh. Here's the story: (I'll tl;dr as much as possible)

    - I went to a meeting on Wednesday night to meet my new team of reps for Welcome Week
    - Saw a guy there who's really cute (and on my team!)
    - Learned that he has a really effeminate voice, which is generally a turn off for me, but isn't with him for some reason...
    - He (and some others) added the team on Facebook, so I creeped him a bit

    So here's where this stands. I really like this guy even though I've actually never spoken to him yet. But the feelings I have for him (I guess it's crushing) feels way different from before. Other guys I've liked... I think it's been different because it was always a "look but don't touch" kind of thing, because they've all been straight and I've been closeted. But now I'm out and I highly suspect this guy is gay (for more reasons beyond his voice).

    I feel like my feelings are escalating really quickly, regardless of how legitimate they are. I'm trying really hard to stay grounded but it doesn't seem to be working very well. I'm not sure where to go from here.

    Obvious solution is to ask him if he's gay - not necessarily for romantic reasons, but I'd still just like to have a gay guy to be friends with, since I don't have any now. I feel like asking him now though runs the risk of making things awkward for WW when it comes around. On the other hand, even if it is awkward, there will be 4 months of summer to forget about it, right?

    And if I do ask him, what do I say? "Hey, I know this might seem a bit out of the blue and I don't mean to offend you, but I was wondering if you were gay?". We don't really know each other, so a message is pretty much going to be out of the blue.

    Gah. I need opinions, because for once in a long time I feel like my judgement is actually really clouded...
     
  2. AKTodd

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    Rather than flat out asking him perhaps work it into the conversation in a way that might get him to clarify things? For example could you strike up a conversation and somewhere along the line mention that you've found yourself enjoying life/welcome week/whatever so much more since being out or coming out or the like? If he responds that he knows what you mean and/or talks about his own coming out then you have your answer and can consider how to proceed. If his answer doesn't clarify then maybe tack another tack.

    Just a thought.

    Todd:slight_smile:
     
  3. BudderMC

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    Yeah, I didn't want to flat-out ask him, but I figured if an out of the blue convo was going to seem odd regardless, might as well get it all over with at once.

    Anyways, he posted a status about cooking for other people and then baking afterwards that showed up on my newsfeed, so I took that as a point of interest and messaged him about it (since I've never met another guy who likes to do that besides me). Seems like a good place to go... and a good place to segue from if need be. :slight_smile:

    Thanks again!