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over thinking about what to do with this girl

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by madi, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. madi

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    So I recently discovered a friend of mine that I have a crush on is gay. Last night when we were hanging out we cuddled and were holding hands for hours and it was really nice. I feel like we would be compatible and really liked how it felt snuggling with her. And apparently this was also arousing for me, though I didn't notice until I went to the bathroom and saw my very wet panties.
    I kind of want to ask her on a date, but I am worried because I have never done anything with a girl before. I'm afraid that I will kiss her and it will feel wrong to me. She is certain of her being gay and I just don't want to lead her on or break her heart because she is so incredibly sweet. I know I really really wanted to kiss her when we were cuddling, but I'm scared that when the moment comes for us to do something further I'll discover that I'm straight instead of bi.....
    Is this normal for me to have these fears and doubts? I may just be over thinking things because I tend to do that, but I'm so afraid that I'll hurt her.
     
  2. Wolfie Charm

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    That’s exactly how my brain works, too. When it starts in making me doubt myself, especially on a really strong urge, I think, "Well why would I have the urge if it is not what I really want?”

    Does she know you identify as being bisexual?
     
  3. madi

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    That's a good way to think about the urges.
     
    #3 madi, Apr 5, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2013
  4. Wolfie Charm

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    Yeah, I agree with that. Was just thinking if maybe she has an idea that you still have moments of doubt. Might be good to start by telling her your orientation. I say go for it, but that’s my opinion. You guys could just have a "friends" outing someplace. Good luck on this. Sorry I haven’t been much help. I’m lacking in the dating scene but wanted you to know others have these panicky moments of questioning ourselves.
     
  5. madi

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    It's good to know I'm not the only one with these panicky paranoid feelings at times. I'm not sure how to bring up my orientation exactly to her. I don't want to just randomly be like like "I'm bisexual" in the middle of a conversation. It might seem silly too if she already knows. I may ask a few people in our social circle if they have told her just in case. I like the "friend" outing idea though I will try that :slight_smile: