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I tried avoiding posting but I just have to let it out..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by tryhtwfr, Apr 7, 2013.

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  1. tryhtwfr

    tryhtwfr
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    Why does my family hate me? Do they want me dead? Why do they constantly make me feel so worthless? Especially my 2 brothers, my little brother has now started calling me a word in my own language which translates into 'Gay/Homosexual/Fag/Feminine' because of my older brother (me and him do not talk (3 years running now). Today, my little brother said he is such a 'kusra' (which is the word) and my dad said 'repeat that, I didn't catch that' and my little brother kept repeating the word and said he acts like a girl (I deny that, my music taste is quite stereotypical though) and I just sat down trying to ignore it and like I never heard it. My dad was a bit cautious and then later watching TV downstairs, a hair advert came on as he walked in and he said 'why do you like watching stuff like this?' and I said 'I don't, its an advert!' and he goes 'don't worry I like that stuff too'


    Right, I'm confused, hurt and lost. People say your family is everything but why do I always think they are against me. It pushes me more and more in the closet and I just want to breakdown because of how they treat me especially my oldest brother and youngest :icon_sad:


    Why did I have to be Gay?
     
    #1 tryhtwfr, Apr 7, 2013
  2. FeministFemme97

    FeministFemme97 Guest

    I'm so sorry. Personally I can offer no advice, but I'm sure there are loads of people here who can.
    All I can do is say that you'll always have friends here who care, and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me. (*hug*)
    You'll get through this.
     
    #2 FeministFemme97, Apr 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2013
  3. 4ever Hearth

    4ever Hearth
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    Unfortunately, those that are closest to us know how to "press the buttons" in the worse way. I can relate to this though it comes from my mom and eldest sister that act like freakin amazons in the worse way but I don't let it get to me much and what works for me is a dose of sarcasm. So when they shoot back with "watch your mouth." I reply "Yeah, because it's never funny when you're the butt of the joke, is it?" Then it goes silent and I usually get left alone for the rest of the day. Or dirty looks but either way, they aren't talking anymore. :thumbsup:

    Seeing that it is an all-male household, I assume since you didn't mention your mother, from what my male friends who have grown up in similar households has told me you will probably have to develop a tough skin. 9 times of out 10, your little brother is just being a prick for the hell of it and your older brother, well thats your call but seems like your dad isn't as terrible so I think if you used sarcasm to defend yourself, he might back you up.

    Basically, be you and demand your respect. And as much as it sucks, just think of them as practice because there are going to be times when you have to do it again in the world. For the time being, work on developing a thick skin and keep coming back here. I'm not the best at advice but trust me, there are others here who are alot better than myself. So just think of me as a "decent" advert. :lol: (*hug*)
     
    #3 4ever Hearth, Apr 7, 2013
  4. tryhtwfr

    tryhtwfr
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    Thanks(*hug*)


    Do your sister and mum know you're gay because my family don't know, no one knows except people on the internet. Nope you spoke too soon, the same day I posted this, me and mum were in the car and I saw one of my lesbian friends who is a dike (if that is the correct word to use). I said to my mum 'she's a lesbian and she's muslim and..' then my mum goes 'that is wrong!' and I'm like 'no you can't blame her for the way god made her' and then she goes 'take that back, god never made anyone like that, it's the devil playing tricks with them' and I said 'no she was just born that way' and my mum said 'oh she just most likely has a mental problem or is disabled'

    I can definitely imagine how much grief I would get from my family if I do come out to them, I'll probably be kicked out the house but firstly beaten to the extent where I can't move..
     
    #4 tryhtwfr, Apr 9, 2013
  5. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Talk to your parents. Tell them that you cannot change who you are. If they do not understand then cry (I'm being serious) yell them that you can't change and tell them that they are making your life feel worthless and cry. It does help and they should understand. If that doesn't work then try to threaten them. I don't mean murder, I mean tell them that if they and your brothers don't stop then you will run away and never come back. It sounds harsh but it may have a surprising effect

    You are either in year 11 or in college, so maybe there is someone you can talk to at school, or call up an association, it really helps.

    You must be going through hell at the moment, just hold on in there, it will all be over one day, I promise.
     
    #5 clarkec1, Apr 9, 2013
  6. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    if you are afraid of being beaten by your family for being gay please talk to someone. Do you have a job where you can save for a while if you do need to move out? I know there are resources in London who can help you. Hugs-Rose
     
    #6 Rose27, Apr 9, 2013
  7. Loveless

    Loveless
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    Your dad said don't worry i like that stuff to, that means he loves you. I was scared shitless to tell my parents. your siblings are obviously feeling a little awkward around you, and maybe that by annoying you about it is the only way they know how to bring it up with you. My advice is to talk to your mother first about this. For me it was so easy to come out to my mom first.
     
    #7 Loveless, Apr 9, 2013
  8. tryhtwfr

    tryhtwfr
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    The thing is I'm not even out, my brothers just assume I'm a puffter because my masculinity level is a level down from theirs.

    And I mean I'm in year 11 and I'm staying at the sixth form but from this
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...-want-kill-myself-why-has-happened-again.html - You know it's not easy to talk to someone at school.


    There is one man I'm talking to twitter and he helps people that are Gay, he said he is 66 and he is very liked there as he helps a lot of people but I don't plan on coming out in my teen years to them. I would like to avoid it until I'm in a stable position with a job, etc. A long time, I know..

    But the thing is I never told them anything! So I don't know if he means that 'I know you're gay but its ok' or if he just has a same interest? But I was watching an advert after all, it's not something you can find in common with other people. Over here there is a drama called Eastenders with a muslim family having a gay son and it showed their life and stuff (its not just based on them) but in the end the mum accepts him as gay and my mum says ' you see? Mums are always there for you' but she hates homosexuals? :bang:
     
    #8 tryhtwfr, Apr 10, 2013
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