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Love is the worst...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Perrydaplatypus, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. Perrydaplatypus

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Washington D.C.
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    Not out at all
    Anyway I while back I posted a thread about a friend tht I thought might be gay. Anyway I still think he is gay, and fact I think so now more than ever, but I also know that there is no chance he would or will ever come out, and if he did, he would never be okay with a same sex relationship..... I know there are countless posts out there about straight "crushes", but this isn't a crush. I'm in love. Back when I used Ro try and date girls I never understood any of the love songs, or movies, I couldn't feel that kind of love. Once I realized I was gay things made a little more sense. But with my friend, everything makes sense. All the love songs. The love stories and movies, it all fits. I've gotten over plenty of crushes, but this is different. When I go to bed he is the only thing on my mind, and wheni wake up he is the first thing I think about, besides how much I hate my alarm clock..... The worst part is that now we are pretty much best friends, and hang out a lot. Further, what is probably the most painful is when he tells me he loves me. It doesn't come up often, but whenever it does, it's like a knife is being stabbed into me. While him loving me is awesome, I love him in such a deeper way, a way that he will probably never reciprocate. I have been trying to move on, but it feels like I'm in a breakup even though he doesn't even know how I feel. It hurts like hell. He is the reason I decided to accept my sexuality, whenever I was with anyone of the opposite sex, it just didn't click like it does with him. He is perfect, but I guess just not for me.....
    Any advice as to how to move on or deal with it? To summarize, I got the broken heart, with out set getting to enjoy a relationship.
    Love is some bulllll:icon_sad:
     
  2. Loveless

    Regular Member

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    Don't keep it inside man, don't hide your emotions. I did for 5 years up until a while ago and it just made me so sick. You are close friends and even though you can never guess what his reaction will be, if he is a close friend and he cares about you he will still want to be friends even after all of your emotions are put on the table. Just tell him how you feel, i know it's hard to put your feelings out there and make yourself vulnerable but keeping it all inside is a million times worse, trust me on this please it made me go on anti-depressants. Tell him and if he's shocked just give him his space and let him come to you. Don't tell him you love him and then keep going on about it, I did that and it creeped my best friend right out. I know it hurts so bad to keep shit inside, but you are strong and you can do it.

    Go tell him how you feel, regardless if he hates you for it, loves you for it or even if nothing changes.

    ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2013 at 03:41 PM ----------

    Mmm forgot to mention my friend did not reciprocate the feelings back towards me but we have moved past that and it's like nothing has ever changed we are still best friends.