I honestly didn't expect to have to ever post here...thought I'd have everything under control. Now I could use some advice from those who have been here before. The third person I came out to who is six years younger than me and my roommate told me tonight that he thinks I came out to him because I was interested in him. He smoked a little pot and it works like truth serum. I wasn't digging for information, but I guess he felt the need to unburden himself. The kid is like a little brother to me and truth be told, I've never felt that way about him. I need advice regarding the situation including how to convince him I'm not, nor was I ever, interested.
It's really annoying how all straight guys think they're irresistible to gay guys. I think probably the most effective thing you could do in this situation is tell him straight up that you have no interest in him whatsoever in that way. Otherwise he'll probably always have it in the back of his mind and it could make your friendship awkward.
Hey, thanks for the response. I tried telling him tonight, but I think he was too stoned to really take the information in. I'll have to have another talk with him. This is the guy I took to see Louie CK for new years. He thinks because we spent new years together that "it was my plan" or something. I had told him earlier that night on the way to the show that I was bisexual. I'm concerned that he won't believe me when I tell him. It also doesn't make me want to tell more people for this exact reason.
I think keeping it light and humorous, i.e. "I'm sure you're all that and bag of chips, but sorry dude I'm just not into you." Then completely dropping it and never bringing it up again gets the point across. No matter how straight he is, on some level, it's probably kind of a kick to the ego that you don't think he's hot. So treating it just like you would an unwanted crush should really drive it home. I guess that I'm assuming you two have the kind of friendship where that could be funny rather than insulting. My friends and I live on a steady diet of sarcastic humor. Even if you don't I think staying relaxed and not making a big deal out if it is the best plan.
This is probably one of the most frustrating parts of not being straight. I don't understand why it has to be so awkward though, I'm still pretty much closeted and am very straight acting but none of my female friends assume I only hang out with them in the hopes that I get to sleep with them. I don't know why guys are so weird that way, I think it's an ego thing. He may or he may not believe you, there isn't much you can do to control that. But I think, given time, when he sees that your not making moves on him and genuinely aren't interested, he'll probably be really cool about it. You're right though, it does making coming out more off-putting, this is the exact reason I'm worried about telling my best friend.
I'm not sure if brushing it off is the best way. I almost feel like it would make him feel more concerned, as if joking about it was too passive. I did ask for your advice though, so thank you. The conversation we had was brief, but one thing he mentioned was that being a shy kid, some of his friends thought he was gay. So I guess having been confronted before could lead to him thinking that more people could mistake him for being gay, including me?
Sounds like he is just fucking with you. He might be getting an ego and taking it as a great compliment but hey he is still your friend. If he is straight and comfortable with himself then you have nothing to worry. Him being brother like or your friend it sounds like he is messing with you. If you are umcomfortable with this then tell him flat out that you didn't t ell him to be fucked with.
Honestly, it sounds as though being passive about it is going to be the best thing for you. This situation isn't anything you can control, because you can't make someone believe anything. It also isn't that crucial, he thinks you like him - you tell him you don't and he doesn't believe you. It really is just something to laugh off, simply because nobody is offended. Just keep things how they are, perfectly normal - if he gets concerned he's going to initiate a conversation with you about it. If you do want to seem like everything is fine, then you need to let him initiate a conversation with you because it shows that you aren't even thinking about it as if it's a "thing".
Well here's an important question: Are you sure he's straight? Is it possible that he is bi/questioning/gay, and is actively interested in you? If so, this makes the matter more complicated because you have to be careful of hurting his feelings. Also... I don't think you can have any sort of meaningful conversation until he's sober, so really, that's probably the first step.
i guess proving it to him that you aint interested? if you have some one in your life right now then maybe its time your love interest to meet your roomie to save any embarasment moments but also the friendship you have. "actions speaks louder than words" ive done it a few times to girls who think i fancy them i just show up with another girl and introduce them and it seems to work... maybe it would work for you on this one
The kid is a little messed up. Outside looking in, I wouldn't say the kid has any real problems. Mentally though, he's a bit disturbed. Depressed would probably be the most accurate description. He's confused about a lot of things in life. He lacks direction big time....but I don't think he's gay or questioning. I treat all my friends like brothers. I treat total strangers like brothers, even. Maybe my kindness could be mistaken for being interested. This is the only thing I can come up with as to what makes him think I like him. He hasn't been staying here a lot, so I really haven't talked to him a whole bunch. I'm learning that not everyone is going to be receptive to this. This is my major hardship in life and I mostly deal with it in private. I did speak with one of my other friends I came out to and even he said that it crossed his mind that I was interested in him when I told him. I think the next time I tell anyone, I'll just do it like a bandaid and tell everyone at once. Probably a Facebook note.
