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Would you date/be friends with a lesbian with a baby?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by harper81, Apr 11, 2013.

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  1. harper81

    harper81
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    Before anyone starts let me say that I am a good mother who has my mum to look after baby and I am with my daughter all the time but I joined online dating just looking for anew friends/ possible dates and it is my mum who encouraged me to do this. I am looking for just drinks every now and again and other lesbians to talk to.

    I had my baby via sperm donor when I was in a relationship, the relationship did not work out but my lovely baby daughter is 2 months old. I am with her all day but on fri/dat nights I can go for drinks/cinema and just relax. I have a good job, currently on maternity leave and was wondering if any lesbians would actually be put of by this??

    I am not looking for a step mummy for my daughter lol. She is mine and in time when she older and I fall in love well things could change.

    I see a girl I liked online and we just exchanged a few hellos. It does say on profile I have a daughter just not how old she is and we have not talked deeply yet.

    I am just looking for advice on this unusual situation. I am happy with where I am at.
    No emotional baggage and stuff like that, just looking for a friend. I have friends but they are all straight.. Maybe a few dates and see how things go. Am i being unreasonable?
     
    #1 harper81, Apr 11, 2013
  2. LD579

    LD579
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    Well, honestly, things may depend on how old you are, and what you're doing. For example, if you're like 20, or if you're in school full-time, people may be averse to hanging out with you (due to their own immaturity, perhaps, or due to other reasons).

    If people are put off by the fact that you're a mother... Well... They may not be worth your time. Maybe.

    You're not being unreasonable, though. Depending on where you live, LGBT+ groups and meet-ups may be plentiful, and you could go to those and see if you like them. Really, there's not much to say, so I won't force extra words (I guess I'm doing that right now). By the way, welcome, and have a banana or three! (!)(!!):dead:
     
    #2 LD579, Apr 11, 2013
  3. harper81

    harper81
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    Thanks Luthan. Well actually I dont know the age range on this forum so might be in wrong place. I am 35 and I understand for a 20 yea old it would be hard!! hence why I waited until I was older although relationship did not work out I am happy I have my daughter. She is wonderful...

    So I understand why a 20 year old would not! but then again I am sure their are some young ones who probably would not mind. Depends.
     
    #3 harper81, Apr 11, 2013
  4. FallenAngel

    FallenAngel Guest

    I'm a lesbian with two kids (2 years and 7 months) and I had the same fear as you. I have learned that some lesbians love kids and even want kids!! You shouldn't worry :slight_smile:
     
    #4 FallenAngel, Apr 11, 2013
  5. Wolfie Charm

    Wolfie Charm
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    I second FallenAngel. (Except I don’t have human children.) I would not have a problem with my friend/girlfriend having a child. An attentive, mature parent is even better. I love kids and want a kid some day.

    Also, there are "older" members on the site so you are not out of place. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Wolfie Charm, Apr 11, 2013
  6. harper81

    harper81
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    Well thanks. glad to hear. Just before We finally split up my ex said something about women not wanting to be with me with a baby.
     
    #6 harper81, Apr 11, 2013
  7. CHML

    CHML
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    You'd be surpriced how many women actually are okay with kids! :slight_smile: Sure there are ones who don't like kids, but it's the same no matter who you are or who you want to date.
    I have a daughter and she melts up peoples hearts even those who swear not to like kids :grin:
     
    #7 CHML, Apr 11, 2013
  8. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    That was mean of your ex to say that. Sure you will find someone you loves you both.
     
    #8 Rose27, Apr 11, 2013
  9. pinklov3ly

    pinklov3ly
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    That was very mean for your ex to say that to you. I also have kids and the girl I'm dating doesn't mind one bit; she has even met my boys. Just because you're a mother now, it doesn't mean your dating life is over. I used to feel the same way though, but reassured that there are plenty of women who will not mind. My friend used to make me feel like, I'd have a difficult time dating because I have kids. However, I've actually been on more dates than her and she doesn't even have kids. So, go out, meet people and have fun!
     
    #9 pinklov3ly, Apr 11, 2013
  10. Hopeful

    Hopeful
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    I think it really depends on the person not whether you're a lesbian or not!! :slight_smile: I can't wait to have kids one day; I wouldn't mind if my partner had children of his or her own already! Maybe that's just me, and I had two step sisters (parents are no longer together but I still see them sometimes) and my mom just had a baby who is my half-brother so I'm open to all sorts of things. I think people are more open to it than you might think. :slight_smile: And welcome to Empty Closets - I joined about a month ago and I love it here so far.
     
    #10 Hopeful, Apr 11, 2013
  11. Winfield

    Winfield
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    im in the same boat ive two 12yr olds and its put me off dating so i just dont date coz of it along with other baggage i come with ... im not a good catch

    but damn your baby girl must be hella cute... and i think most lesbians will love the fact that you have a kid... dont sweat it...
     
    #11 Winfield, Apr 11, 2013
  12. Loveless

    Loveless
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    I believe if a person really likes you they will learn to love your children as well.
     
    #12 Loveless, Apr 11, 2013
  13. Phenix

    Phenix
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    I don't think you will have much of a problem :slight_smile: I have only come across a few that weren't okay with kids and generally they were younger than me which is fine because I generally don't like younger girls. BTW I have a 4 year old :slight_smile:
     
    #13 Phenix, Apr 11, 2013
  14. harper81

    harper81
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    Im really happy go hear all this. Its like im leaving her with a strangrr. My mum or sister are the only ones I would leave her with. My neighbour for like an hour or two. Now to is find t is he date. My nearest big city is london which has a great scene. Weo will arrange something there.Yeahy ex had her gpod side and not so good side. We all do but she put me off a bit
     
    #14 harper81, Apr 11, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2013
  15. Count Duckula

    Count Duckula Guest

    I would easily date someone with kids, even though I've never really wanted them myself. I'm also pretty good with kids.

    Don't listen to your ex; there are definitely people out there who would date a woman with children. That may even be a plus for some.
     
    #15 Count Duckula, Apr 12, 2013
  16. Sapphy

    Sapphy
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    I have an OH, but I would definitely be friends with you :slight_smile:
     
    #16 Sapphy, Apr 12, 2013
  17. JustMe2602

    JustMe2602
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    I totally wouldn't mind being friends with/ dating someone with kids...
    I think many lesbians don't mind if you have kids.
    If they really love you for you, they will automatically love your kids.
     
    #17 JustMe2602, Apr 12, 2013
  18. lull23

    lull23
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    I've dated guys with kids before - was no big deal to me. But they lived with the mother and were actually very sweet kids. I imagine if the kids were little horrors it would be a different story.
     
    #18 lull23, Apr 12, 2013
  19. castle walls

    castle walls
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    I wouldn't mind befriending or dating someone with kids
     
    #19 castle walls, Apr 12, 2013
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