Hi everyone, I have discovered this site yesterday and I hope you can help me about a desperate situation I am in :eusa_doh: (BTW I'm 16) Sorry if my English is bad, its not my primary language :rolle: So since the sixth grade I wasnt really sure about my sexuality.. There was a time I was attracted to women yet now I can say that I have almost none at all. Anyway right now I have two friends, one of them my best friend. I have met him three years ago in high school. We used to play video games together ( and still do until now) and eventually became very good friends. Both of them are straight as far as I can tell. I have tried to hide the fact Im gay a very long time.. and it all changed about two weeks ago during a bike trip me and my friend had. We talked and he discovered that I hide something.. I didn't tell him anything until the evening, when he finally persuaded me to tell him what it is all about. I wrote him a 'coming out' letter in Word and sent it to him, totally frightened and shaking. I made it pretty clear that I have no crush on him We had a very long chat (we didn't have a Skype call, only chat) and I explained him everything. We didn't speak about the whole matter face to face at all, and it kind of makes me feel really awkward about it. He is the only person in the world that knows, and I totally trust him! The only problem is that I think I fell in love in him. I can't stop thinking about him, everything I do or happens reminds me of him. I actually feel jealous when he is with other friends, even in Skype - especially when he hangs out with my second friend. I feel like I want to cry all day long, I am really afraid to loss him, I fear that I will become one of these 'secondary friends' to him :tears: I guess I'm in love with him but I understand that I can do nothing about it. If I'll tell him he will probably get frightened or something :icon_redf I don't know what to do, and I feel really hopeless :icon_sad:
Funny things happen in life... I had two friends. When i was 12 years old I experimented with sex with one of the friends. The one I experimented with threatened to tell my other friend about the sex unless I dropped the other friend. As far as I knew the other friend was straight and would end the friendship when he learned about the sex. Being caught between two bad choices I did the stand up thing and told my other friend about the sex myself. To my surprise he said "do me" and we we were together 15 years. Funny things happen in life. I doubt this applies to your friend but life is funny.
Well... It sounds like he took the news well. But there's another issue at hand here. You told him that you don't have a crush on him when, in fact, you do. It's up to you if you want to tell him about how you feel... It may not be best, honestly, for now, to tell him about how you feel. In the meantime, you may want to try and get over this crush of yours. Feelings can be really intense as an adolescent. There must be other guys out there that you could form an attraction with instead, without the possibility of losing a great friendship. Doing things for yourself can also help. Do things that you enjoy, like shopping or walking or hanging out with other friends, etc. As time passes, your crush may fade away, and that may be for the best.
I still feel jealous when he hangs out with others.. I makes me feel terrible! Do you know any thing that can make me feel less hurt from this?
Well... He's just a guy. He has to live his life, just as you do. Part of that involves interacting and hanging out with others. If you feel jealous of him for that, you're focusing too much attention on him. Try to consciously stop doing that, because your life doesn't revolve around him, as I'm sure you know. Basically, you'll have to shift your mindset. Again, you'll have to get over this crush... As I've said before, do things that'll help you live your life and be happy that aren't associated with him (going out without him, going for a walk alone, hanging out with other friends, etc.).
