Hey look, another guy crushing over his best friend!

Well, if he is really a good and close friend then I doubt that anything would have changed. I'm pretty sure on some unconscious level that he is aware of your feelings for him- I mean comon, when we flirt its obvious whether or not we like it. That said, I cannot be too sure.

In the event that, you do come out and admit your feelings for him, and he is entirely fine with it but of course, rejects them- then I have reason to believe that his behavior towards you may not change entirely- but I'm sure that it will change. With the confirmation of your feelings, he may feel guilty if he flirts with you or strings you on like he did with the past. All of those gestures are good and fine between two straight friends because it means nothing at the end- and each one knows that the other would not be hurt in its process.

I don't think his behavior will dramatically change. But I do fear that your behavior will. With no longer the spark or suspicion that he may love you back in the same way, the relationship, at its worst, may lose a bit of its magic- things will no longer seem as exciting and fun as they use to be with the blunt truth staring right at you: that he doesn't love you, and will never ever feel that way. You will be hurt beyond words that can describe- and it will become difficult to distinguish between your sense of "best-friendship" and your love for him.
This may sound pessimistic, but its the unfortunate truth when you are dealing with someone whom you have strong, unappreciated feelings for, but continue with a close level of acquaintance after the rejection. And it takes real strength and discipline to rise above the hurt; to remind yourself of the limits; and yet maintain the same level of intimacy and comradery as before as to not end or endanger a close friendship.

As to your final question about leaving the door open... well that would be holding onto a false sense of reciprocation- holding onto something that isn't true. And if you do that, you may find yourself 6 years down the line still crushing on your best friend as some of the other unfortunate members of ec in this situation. Doing so however keeps the excitement and hope alive- it keeps you happy and gives you a reason to enjoy his company. In some cases, the lie, or the dream that remains, with the sense of bitter hopefulness, is better than the asphalt reality marred with the drama and pain upon the bric-à-brac. But the happiness felt from something that is false and misinterpreted is, though exhilarating and euphoric in the short term, is soon after replaced by a repetitious cycle of a high and a low. you begin to crave more and more for any of his mistaken gestures of his supposed confirmation, and eventually it will reach a point where his affirmations are no longer enough- you find yourself attached to him more and more, caught in this endless cycle of extreme happiness in his company, and a sense of emptiness in his absence. All of this continues until you can no longer take it, and you will ask him.

Now, it would appear as though I am constantly replying in these threads- and I apologise for my repetition- but i do it as a way of coping and moving on- to reinforce in my mind that there is absolutely no hope whats so ever with my best friend... and i suggest you do the same as well. It takes a simple search and 30 minutes of browsing to realise that many many people have been through this problem as well (which is somewhat comforting knowing that you share the same experiences), and that almost 100% of the cases have ended in some grave misinterpretation on the behalf of one friend, followed by some form of rejection and subsequent pain.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. Many posters have went through the same, including myself. If you don't believe, you can check the threads I posted. I'm sure it's still there lol...

 

true! we somehow feel guilty or that we will be betraying them/abandoning them if we start dating- always wondering if they might like us in return secretly! but i'm glad to hear that you're fine. Keep us posted.

 

I dont know if its necessarily normal but I do it all the time. I think its possible that if you want to like someone or want to have that kind of intimacy than your mind can fabricate a crush from the closest thing you have: a close friend. I cycle through my guy friends doing this. I really want to meet someone and I keep falling for my friends but really its more of my mind making it true than realizing feelings.

Also, anything at all emotional from 11:00pm to 7:00am for me should not be trusted. When I'm tired I blow emotions way out of proportion. That probably contributed a lot.