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Probability of Stereotypes being True?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013.

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  1. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    I honestly and wholeheartedly understand and appreciate that stereotypical signs are almost totally incorrect and absurd to judge someone's sexuality (and anything else for that matter), but I have heard that in the very minority and rare occurrence, stereotypes are correct and do correspond to someone's orientation etc.

    Just out of interest and it would help me very much, how often are stereotypes correct? I have heard that stereotypes do correspond to someone's orientation every 2 of 10 people (if that). I know this only means 20 (if that)% of homo/bisexuals match stereotypes, but I would just like confirmation of this. I'm sure that the answer to this question is opinionated, biased, and not proved, but I want your perspective on this question. Are stereotypes true at all? Are only a few people matched to stereotypes? Are half of people matched to them? Are most of them matched? Or is everyone matched?

    Please give an honest answer, it would help if you had some sort of evidence or scientific proof etc.

    Thanks in Advance!
     
    #1 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  2. Thatoneguy

    Thatoneguy
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    Stereotypes would have to be true for some people, otherwise they wouldn't be a stereotype. They would be been based off of a perceived behavior that is found in the entire group.

    I know that I fill some of the stereotypes that are around for gay men, and thinking about my friends I can think of at least one stereotype that they all fit.
     
    #2 Thatoneguy, Apr 14, 2013
  3. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Hi, thanks for your comment. Can I ask what stereotype you say that all your friends have?
     
    #3 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  4. Thatoneguy

    Thatoneguy
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    There isn't one that fits all of us, but everyone fits at least one stereotype that is associated with the LGBT community. I don't think that there is one that we all fit.
     
    #4 Thatoneguy, Apr 14, 2013
  5. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Oh, I understand. The boy I like does have a couple of stereotypes. Like he has some of the stereotypes I don't have, but I have some of the stereotypes he doesn't have. Thanks again!
     
    #5 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  6. LD579

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    I highly doubt there are scientific studies with numerical values for sexuality and stereotypes, unfortunately. Aside from that, I don't know many LGBT+ people in person, so I can't really help. It's worth keeping my first sentence in mind, though.

    As Thatoneguy said, lots of us probably fit at least one stereotype. There are just so many.
     
    #6 LD579, Apr 14, 2013
  7. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Thanks Luthan, would you say that tilting head in photos would be a stereotype or not?
     
    #7 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  8. LD579

    LD579
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    Er, short answer... No.

    There are lots of reasons he may tilt his head. It could be subconscious, or maybe he thinks it's cute or charming. It kinda is, to be honest. It might be a stereotype, but... I've never heard of such a stereotype.
     
    #8 LD579, Apr 14, 2013
  9. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Ok, I'm just going to change the subject. I think you know why I created this thread. To find out whether or not this boy is gay.

    He's so confusing!! Sometimes he acts gay, and sometimes he doesn't! I've been trying to find out for 3 months now, but I just can't confirm it. I can't just ask him because i would be thought of as weird. And I don't want to get to know him because he is In year 7 and I am in year 9. I have not idea whether or not he is gay!?
     
    #9 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  10. LD579

    LD579
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    Well... As others have said, there's only one clear-cut way to find out. You'll either have to poke around, or just come out and ask.

    I totally understand that this is frustrating. Although I was 16 at the time, I felt the same way as you did (but the guy was in my grade). I ended up getting a friend of mine to do some snooping / covert asking / 'intel' field work, and... he ended up being straight (Unless he's actually bisexual or closeted... which I unfortunately doubt).

    So... You can either continue to stress out about this (Which, as you know, can be annoying and... stressful), or you can take a jump and make some sort of move (asking him). It's by no means easy, but if you think about this guy a lot and like him a lot, it may be for the best, just to give yourself some ease of mind, and perhaps some closure, as well.

    If you do decide to ask him somehow... You could try to anonymously ask by slipping a note or something in his locker. Or, you could ask him in person, or through facebook.

    Really, though, this is all up to you. Whatever you think'll be what's best is what you should do. If you're not ready to do it or anything, you shouldn't. Either way, give yourself some slack and try to ease up a bit. If you do go for it... Good luck =)
     
    #10 LD579, Apr 14, 2013
  11. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Thanks sooooo much again Luthan. I think the reason why I seem to be so mad about him right now is because I haven't seen him for two weeks because of the Easter holidays, but I'll see him tomorrow (well, hopefully anyway, I don't talk to him and I only see him briefly, but I feel great when I have seen him). I know that these threads must get annoying for you but they really help me. I seriously think that very soon, I am going to have to do something. Tell him I love him, ask him if he's gay (only way to be 100% sure), or anything. I can't keep on stressing myself out about him, I have to talk to him very very very soon.

    On top of all of this stress and confusion, I think that there is a chance he might just like me. Once, when I was walking past him, minding my own business, not even looking at him, he looked at me walking past him. I didn't look at him back though (in some ways I wish I did, but on some ways I'm glad I didn't), but that was when I thought he was suspicious that I liked him, so it may just have been out of curiosity. But yeah...

    So I think that some time this term (semester to you I think) I'll try to interact with him, even if it is just smiling. But I just can't wait to see him for a long long time.

    Thanks!
     
    #11 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
  12. LD579

    LD579
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    Um, if I may say something else... Don't tell him you love him. 'Love' is a very intense word. Instead, if you told him you fancied (Haha, would English people say that?) him, or liked him, or that you have a crush on him, he'd be more inclined to feel flattered and less pressured.

    Make sure you're ready for disappointment. It can be harsh and all, but it's a definite possibility. He may just not like guys in that way, or he may not be sure himself right now. He's young...

    But you are, too, and make sure you remember that =) So if things don't work out between you two, don't fret over it. You're very self-aware and yet you're only 13. You'll have lots of opportunities in the future, and just by thinking about talking to him, you're being quite brave already.

    Here in Canada, at least, we'd say 'term' for high school and below, and 'semester' for college or university. I like the sound of 'term' better, though. You're quite welcome for the help. Make sure you come to this forum if you ever feel down or stressed or anything and would like some lifting up =)

    EDIT: Definitely don't feel as though, if things don't work out, he'll be the only guy you'll ever like. You're... 13. You've just started to see guys in a romantic light. Who knows what'll happen down the line, what guys you'll meet...

    There's nothing wrong with being friendly with someone. "Hi, we live really close to each other, but we've never really talked (unless you guys have, recently). My name's Clark (or whatever)."

    And then... you can go from there and see how he reacts.
     
    #12 LD579, Apr 14, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2013
  13. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Oh thank you so much, you're really supportive and assuring. I was thinking that saying I "love" him would seem a bit too direct and pressurizing, so I agree, I'll definitely tell him I like or fancy him, instead of love him. And don't worry, I am definitely prepared for rejection and disappointment.

    Thanks for saying I'm quite brave and strong just for thinking about talking to him, that is really supportive. :slight_smile:

    I know that if I don't get to enter a relationship with him, I will get plenty of opportunities in the future, but I seriously believe that he is the only one I will fancy and go out with (bit every teenager would say that, right?).

    The only thing now is how do I talk to him, I am quite awkward when talking to new people, so I don't know how to handle it (any suggestions?). But I will certianly Interact with him.

    I think that we use the word term for every kind d of education, I don't know though because I'm only in secondary school.
     
    #13 clarkec1, Apr 14, 2013
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