I Don't Drink & It's Affecting My Social Life

Well, I drink alcohol myself, but I do always make sure to moderate myself: never more than two glasses, and that's my hard limit.
That's enough to appreciate the taste, but not enough to get me drunk or affect my judgement in any way. I do encourage everyone to set a very hard limit on how much to drink, and if that limit is "none at all", then that's perfectly valid!

Now, my very limiting ways do sometimes end me up as the one sober person in the company of tipsy (or outright drunk) friends. A less than appealing way to spend the evening.

What I generally do to both have a good time and still have a social life is the following:

1) Bow out when the others are getting drunk. Yes, that means my time with friends is occasionally limited. Sometimes it means having two hours or so together before I notice they're not as sober as they were. And at that point, I just decidedly say: "you know, I think I'm going to turn in to the night. Fun seeing you all, and until next time we hang out!"
I try not to make a point of doing it because I'm sober and they're drunk, but if asked I have mentioned (again, matter-of-factly and still friendly) that that was indeed the reason for me feeling like going home.

On the pro side: this still gives you a couple of hours with friends, it keeps you connected, and you're not compromising on the drinking yourself.
On the con side: it does limit the time you spend with them (and you need your own transport home). But the time you have is higher quality!


2) Organise something yourself. Maybe they're locked in a "fun=booze" mindset, but that doesn't mean they're not willing to do anything else. Sometimes all they need is someone saying "hey, I know what I want to do! A movie marathon, just like in the days of old!!"
And that someone saying it could be you! It's a bit extra work setting something up, but it does have a higher chance of being just the night out you want it to be!

 

So are you also against being around people who drink? Hopefully if these people really are your friends, they'll understand completely.

If you just don't like feeling awkward because you're the only one drinking, do what I do. Fill a flask with soy milk (I love soy milk) or something and just carry that around all night. People won't pressure you if you do that.

 

I'm just saying, you could just hold a cup and drink something else. I've been to parties at college where people don't drink, and it's never a big deal. Plus, your friends have a responsible friend who can drive or be the person who keeps an eye on things. Having a sober friend is a good thing...try to look at it in a different light. Go and have fun with your friends, you don't need alcohol to have a good time, but it sounds like you need to be around it to be with your friends.

It's like pot for me. I've never smoked and never maintained an interest. But if I left a party every time someone smoked I wouldn't ever go out. Be responsible but have fun too.

 

Do you drive? Because if so, you could be the designated driver. You might even save a life that way.

Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you can't enjoy a party where others are drinking. (For me, my auditory hypersensitivity is more of an impediment to partying than my disgust at the taste and smell of alcoholic beverages.) I suppose it could get awkward being sober around a bunch of people who are totally smashed, but that could be fun too, depending on how you look at it.

 

In college the pressure it drink is even worse. I drink but tend not to have the goal of getting blackout drunk Thursday thru Saturday like many of my friends and I get shit about it all the time. I do this because I am a very depressed drunk so I tend to have more fun when I am just tipsy. Ive learned my limits of when I need to stop before I start going down hill and unfortunatly its not always easy as friends will buy you shots ect. You could stick to beer and stay away from hard liquor OR make your own mixed drinks like Coke and Rum and put very little rum in it. I both of these depending on what I feel like drinking and while with the mixed drinks my friends will some times taste it and call me a bitch, they don't pour more in. I would avoid drinking games though as those tend to turn into chugging contests. You could also drink your drink really slow and nurse it.... Also, when everyone else is drunk if you take your drink into the bathroom with you to piss and dump some out in my experience no one notices. If you pace yourself with one drink an hour you should not get drunk. Although that is hard even if you nurse it but I manage to get close if I try.

The point is you can pretend to drink while in all actuality drink very little. If you get drunk a couple times to see how it feels you could even start "pretending" to be drunker then you are as well. You can also pretend to take sips and not and dump in the bathroom or leave your cup somewhere else when no one is looking... While its not staying straight edge it is an option that may help your social life. Hope it helps =)

 

I was at a party where everyone was smoking and drinking and I was the odd one out there and I still managed to have a great time! Alcohol obviously makes you a little crazier and loose and gets you in the 'party mood' but you don't need it. I didn't and I still managed to have a good time

 

I understand what you are feeling, I'm only 15 and yet almost everyone around me are getting drunk at the weekends and I never have.
I too have an addictive personality and I worry about that aswell.
I'm lucky enough to be in a friendship group where we only drink fizzy drinks and tea at parties... But I know that will probably change soon!
I hope you will find some people that will have a good time by just chilling out, without getting drunk. (*hug*)

 

You should never feel pressured into something you don't want.
If you don't want to drink, don't. As others said, real friends will have no problem with that.
Staying true to yourself is the most healthy thing to do.

 

I feel like alcohol consumption is so socialized, but it also depends on what you make of it. And hear me out on this, because I've come from a place where drinking is normal at any age.

I am straight-edge and vegan, so I don't really fit into the regular category at any party, as I don't drink or eat hamburgers. But, at the same time I do not see myself as any different as anyone else, I just have different preferences.
So, I do not deny invitations to parties or other events solely on the premise of alcohol being involved. At the same time, my main area of interest is music, so anywhere I go (be it a bar, a club, party), there is always a live band, a friend's gigging party or some artist that I wanted to see. Therefore, even though everyone drinks, it is not the main thing I came there for - music and friends are first. So what if they drink? You don't mind them doing so, they won't mind you not drinking (you can always be a designated driver as someone already mentioned).
Also, if you really feel uncomfortable, as it was already suggested, just hold a glass with some sort of liquid tea or coke (I used to get cranberry juice), and no one will suspect. The only thing, when someone offers to buy you a drink, make sure they are aware you are not drinking. And guys, d not EVER feel pressured to do anything you do not want to do (poster above said the exact same thing).
If your friends still ridicule you for not drinking, maybe it's time to consider different types of friends. It does hurt, and it is unfortunate sometime it boils down to it, but it's same as being accepted as any point of lgbtq spectrum. No one should have a problem with you not drinking, but you should also have no problem with it to be able to enjoy yourself, whatever the environment you are surrounded with is. Try to find the environment that will not be boring for you and you should have a blast. Good luck.

 

There are also a lot of people who don't drink as a form of entertainment, and prefer to play video games, watch movies, play frisbee in the park, go hiking, go shopping, hang out and draw or write, study/do homework, or just have some snacks and talk. What sounds like a good time to you?
You can invite the friends you already have to do things with you, or make a similar invitation to classmates who you'd like to get to know better. Going to a cafe or convenient public space like a park gives everyone the freedom to pick up and leave when they feel like it which can help a get together be more relaxed, or going to a theater to watch a play or movie gives an outing more structure and goals if you're still getting to know each other.

I've been in college for years and have enjoyed my time completely without relying on booze or being pressured by the people around me to drink. If you find that your friends are putting a lot of pressure on you and you aren't enjoying their company, I suggest looking for better company outside of your current circle.