Where to go from here for a super shy guy

So I came out to my best friend Jan 17th. He is so supportive and such a great guy. He is the only one that knows so I feel super comfortable around him and can be free to speak my deepest thoughts and he is so understanding and supportive I just feel so lucky to have him in my l my life. I am extremely jealous of his relationship with his girlfriend. I am so lonely and want a relationship and that someone important in my life, like he has. My stress level is through the roof as I am going through some pretty strong kidney problems. Now onto my problem.

Like I said I am extremely jealous of my best friends relationship. I want one soooo bad. I see how happy they are. I go over his apt every now and then and while were just sitting there, I observe the simple things in life mean so much. The fact that they have someone to come home to. Someone to eat dinner with. Someone to snuggle on the couch. Someone to share their days with. Its awesome and I want that awesomeness. I am not looking for sexual relations or "booty calls". I want a true blue relationship. I have noticed my self esteem going down because of the weight gain from my meds. When I am with my best friend I feel confident and can be relaxed and be myself. I would never go to a gay bar as I never go to any bars...very rare. I told him the other day that I want a relationship so bad, but I know that people aren't going to just knock on my door. He said, "with all ur medical stuff ur going through I wouldn't rush it. It will happen eventually. That is the worst thing u need to deal with right now." I know he's right, but I just want someone to love and snuggle at night when I go to bed, and share my day and life with. I know it will happen as he said, but it just hurts because it took all I had to come out to him and I can't describe how I feel when I am around him and be myself for the first time in 42 yrs. Its pure awesomeness...with a missing piece. I am waaaayyyyy to shy to go to any type of support group. I am really affected by this mentally to where I work myself up about how I am lonely but am too shy to do anything about it. Guess I will be lonely for life and that hurts. I want it sooo bad but I am my own worst enemy. Its like I just want it to happen, but I am my biggest restraint.

Any other shy people out here got advice or tricks to help me through this? He is totally straight and I would never ask him to go to a support group or gay bar with me, which I am 1000% sure he would, but I don't want to put him through that. There is being supportive and then there is being too demanding or abusive of this support.

I don't friggin know. I give. Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.

 

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them. No matter what exercise I try it will be unsuccessful due to the mg of my prescriptions it is like beating a dead horse. I will just wait and see where I end up after this 6 month infusion/chemo regimen. If it works and cures my kidney disorder, I will really concentrate on the exercising... BTW the HIIT sounds right up my alley! If the meds don't work, then I have no idea where to go from here. UGH. Sorry I sound so manic depressive... just missing a "special person" in my life.