Posted this in "Coming Out Advice" but realized it might get more responses here. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do in my situation. I'm almost 21. I've pretty much always considered myself to be straight, though I've questioned it. However, for the past couple years I've pretty much undeniably been in love with my best friend, and we are both male. He doesn't know this, of course. Recently I've become very fatigued of the situation because I don't want to tell him for fear of ruining / changing our current relationship (we are very close, like brothers), but at the same time it's pretty stressful having to hide it all of the time. A while back I told him that I won't be communicating with him for a while. I figure I need to get some distance from the situation so that I can reasonably decide on the best decision. The best case scenario would probably be if I could just somehow "get over" the romantic feelings I have for him so we can go back to just being friends, but I honestly don't see that happening at this rate. I'd appreciate any advice that anybody here could offer.
Well... There are many people who are, or have been, in a very similar situation to you. Checking the forums, you'll see lots of threads about people in love with their best friends, and perhaps reading those will allow you to gain some clarity about your situation. You say you've always considered yourself to be straight, but that you've questioned your sexuality. Is he the only guy that you've been attracted to? Are you emotionally attracted to guys, in general? How about physically / sexually? On that note, are you emotionally / romantically attracted to girls? How about physically? These questions are here to help you ascertain your own sexuality better, should you feel the need to, or even if you're just curious, which is totally fine. As for getting over this guy... Maybe, as you've been doing, you should spend time away from him. Try to look at other people, whether they're guys or girls. Don't exactly push him away, but do things with yourself, or with other friends who aren't him. By leaving the situation temporarily, you'll be able to get a better grasp of your thoughts and feelings, and that can only help in allowing you to make a better and more full decision. I can't say anything more definitive for now, but perhaps in the future, with more details, and more insight from yourself, you'll be able to make a decision that you're comfortable with. By the way... Welcome to EC. =)
Thanks for the reply... as for some of your questions, I've only ever felt a strong romantic attraction to one other person before, who was also a guy and also at the time was my best friend. On the other hand I don't usually have any sort of sexual thoughts regarding guys, whether it's people I know or celebrities, what have you. Only these two guys ever, pretty much. Mostly I've been turned on by females, but I've never fallen in love with one. Then again, I've also never really had any close female friends. All of my friends are guys.
